Square House of Gainesville Florida

Upon pulling up to Square House, I thought no way am I eating here. Outdoor seating in Gainesville, with a hyper-hip look, Square House co-specializes in Waffles and Detroit Style Pizza. My personal square pizza had a ratio of 3cr/3ce/3ch.

Their dough gets a 2 out of 5. It tasted more like margarine and burnt garlic powder than anything else. In fact, there was likely more margarine or butter-flavored oil than there was flour put into it. The thing held together fine, but the taste and texture were not there for me. In fact, it made my stomach hurt.

Their sauce gets a 4 out of 5. It had a good consistency, with a bit of extra sweetness which I wish could have balanced the flavor. Square house gets a 3 out of 5 for style. I loved the dog paintings in the bathroom, but everything else about the place seemed to compensate for its lack of good food.

For quality, I guess I give Square House a 3 out of 5. The only thing I really didn't like was the dough and having to sit on a bench at an unleveled table, while watching squirrels hang around (and probably poop) on the other tables. With a final score of 60%, I will not be back to Square House, given the area's other offerings.

Big Trouble by David Barry

Again, I didn't know there was a movie based on this book. I must have been looking for modern writers who are really funny in their work. And somebody somewhere on the internet said David Barry was the funniest thing ever. 

So here we have a story that feels a lot like a movie, especially one starring Tim Allen. And it's pretty good. Based in Miami it has bums, criminals, and regular people in trouble. Decent stuff. 

Looking for Alaska by John Green

I don't know how I ended up on this book, probably from a list of things that are highly rated. That was before I knew it was a movie, and that John Gren was such a famous writer of cutting Young Adult literature. That's okay, though. I guess I don't have young adult stuff. Part of me feels like a loser if I get into stuff for kids that was made after I became and adult. Maybe I've seen too many creeps trying to get in with the youngsters. 

This book is about teenagers who go to a private boarding school in the south, where they smoke cigarettes and plan famous pranks. When tragedy befalls our little friends, they do what they can to dig deeper into the whole thing. That's about all I can say without spoiling it. Maybe you've already seen the movie. I'm going to have to see it too, but I probably won't be telling people how much better the book is. Not because the book is bad. It's actually really good. You understand. 

Coach's Pizza of Tallahassee Florida

Coach's is my kind of place. They house counter service, self-serve drinks, and a table of coloring books and supplies. Their pizza had a ratio of 4cr5ce5ch.

Their dough gets a 3 out of 5. It was somewhat pretzel-like, lacking the yeasty sweetness you'd expect from a pizza dough. It was also somewhat dense, which is an understandable choice. With so much cheese and sauce, you want something that will hold together. It's definitely not the buttery, pie-like thing you'll get in a classic chicago deep dish.

Coach's sauce also gets a 4 out of 5, only because I didnt like it as much as Carmine's which got a 5. It was sweeter, which compensated for the dough, also containing more of the dried herbs which isn't so bad. The main flavor I could discern other than tomato was 'italian seasoning. It was great, though.

For style, I give Coach's a 5 out of 5. It's my kind of cozy place, with well worn booths and no frills or attempts to be hip. Well, it has sports stuff on the walls and sports on the tv which is much better than the News.

Coach's gets a 5 out of 5 for overall quality, with a final score of 85%. Will I be back? Probably. I guess it depends on whether or not I've had Carmine's the day before.

Flowers in the Attic by V.C. Andrews

If you are literate and goth, you'd probably read this one. I didn't know at the time of reading that there was a movie based on this, or that there was a prequel tv series. Now I know and I've seen all of the first and part of the latter. 

All of the gothic tropes are here. A spooky mansion, kids with a chilly aesthetic, an unloving mother, possible incest, attics, and horrific punishment on our poor, innocent Dollenganger children. They really go through it, and you get to be a fly on the wall for the whole show. Read it if you want some goth cred, or just like this kind of thing. 

Rouge by Mona Awad

This is a pretty fun, gripping thing. Rouge is about a woman whose beautiful, glamorous mother dies in an accident. While settling the accounts of the passing, our hero discovers a skin care cult to answer the mysteries of our dearly departed and give our protagonist the skin she's always wanted. But at what price? I'm not sure you want to know. It's pretty scary. 

Carmine's Pie House of Jacksonville, FL

The fact is, I've always been a fan of Carmine's, since I first visited them in 2012. Their deep dish isn't just a regular deep dish. It's a stuffed deep dish, with a layer of dough, a hefty layer of cheese, another layer of dough, and a lake of sauce. No joke, my 10" pie probably had 3 pounds of cheese on it, giving this pizza a ratio of 3cr/5ce/5ch.

Their dough gets a 4 out of 5. It's a little bready, but otherwise heavenly. There's nothing like a dough saturated in cheese melt. Speaking of which, look at the pull I got when dishing my first slice.

Carmine's sauce gets a 5 out of 5. It's delightful, with slow-roasted, quality tomatoes and fresh basil. All you need, really. For style, I give Carmine's a 4 out of 5. I didn't get a picture of the front of the store, which isn't super important. The value was awesome and all that, but place was really trying to get me to buy one of their crafty beers. I understand. Beer sales have higher profit margins, yielding better tips for their servers (who do always have an easy job with me). My lady got $5 for bringing me a water and then bringing me a pizza. The extra hip vibe just didn't appeal to me, or make me feel especially Cozy with such a cozy, wonderful dish.

That being said, Carmine's get a 5/5 for quality. My pizza was wonderful and I will definitely be going back. With an overall score of 90%, I think you should definitely go too.

Between Two Fires by Christopher Buehlman

Between two Fires is kind of a dark, fairy tale adventure. You could call it fantasy, but its magic is more of the spiritual kind. Taking place in the plague years, a rough-and-tumble brigand goes on a quest to deliver an angelic little girl to a place of sanctuary. 

The little girl turns out to be some kind of prophet, and our brigand has to become a hero of sorts because all kinds of dangerous evil stuff is around, between the fires of hell and the pyres of plague. I found it all kind of boring, but I've had my fill of the questing monomyths and chosen ones. So I guess I wasn't ready for this one.