Jiu Jitsu (feat. Nicolas Cage)

First off, it's insane how much parts this movie look and feel like a cut scene from a video game but with real actors instead of cgi super heroes like in Marvel things. Even so, this feels more like something from Uncharted. Each scene is set-up with a flash of comic book panels to let you know where our characters are and what they're up to now. And most of the real scenes are packed with choreographed melee with an insane amount of speed flexing (is that the term?). I wish there were more brawls, but that's okay. We have men, ladies, white, black, and asian kicking butt and having a blast when they're not getting their necks broken. While I mentioned ladies, this film certainly fails the Bechdel test, which is no surprise. Most films featuring Nicolas Cage owe it to the man to focus mainly on Him. (I don't capitalize because I'm talking about the christian God, but because I want to make proper the man that is Nicolas Cage who I am referring to as Him).

Our story involves a Burmese god of death who gave Jiu Jitsu to the people. He cometh forth every six years with the appearance of a magic blue comet. Our hero is Jake (not played by Nicolas Cage). Jake gets an amnesia-inducing head injury in his first encounter with said god of death, which requires all characters to remind him what's going on. He's one of the chosen, given the gift of Jiu Jitsu to fight the god of death and keep said god from killing all humans.

Cage plays the funny old guy in Jake's band of plot exposing chosen ones. He should be in the movie more, but I get it. He's not the most qualified martial artist in this bunch. At least he gets to be a hero, if not The hero. Mostly I'm disappointed that the longest and fastest-paced fights are between our actors and our cgi god of death. I really don't care about watching action scenes of cgi characters. Still, I like this kind of movie. I like kung-fu and pointless cape-wearing. It also reminds me of Mortal Kombat meets Predator, which is a good thing in my book.

1. Raising Arizona
2. The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent
3. Leaving Las Vegas
4. Red Rock West
5. Adaptation
6. Pig
7. Birdy
8. Wild at Heart
9. Joe
10. National Treasure
11. Guarding Tess
12. Snake Eyes
13. Mandy
14. Dog Eat Dog
15. Color Out of Space
16. Mom and Dad
17. World Trade Center
18. Peggy Sue Got Married
19. The Rock
20. Zandalee
21. Prisoners of the Ghostland
22. City of Angels
23. Willy's Wonderland

24. Jiu Jitsu

25. Captain Corelli's Mandolin
26. Bangkok Dangerous
27. Drive Angry
28. Army of One
29. Lord of War
30. Gone in 60 Seconds
31. Matchstick Men
32. Vampire's Kiss
33. Con Air
34. Face/Off
35. Trapped in Paradise
36. The Boy in Blue
37. Honeymoon in Vegas
38. Deadfall
39. Amos and Andrew
40. Moonstruck
41. Tokarev
42. The Sorcerer's Apprentice
43. Knowing
44. Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans
45. Bringing Out the Dead
46. The Family Man
47. Stolen
48. Season of the Witch
49. It Could Happen to You
50. The Wicker Man
51. 8mm
52. The Frozen Ground
53. Left Behind
54. A Score to Settle
55. Pay the Ghost
56. Primal
57. Dying of the Light
58. Grand Isle
59. Looking Glass
60. Arsenal
61. Between Worlds
62. Ghost Rider
63. Trespass
64. The Humanity Bureau
65. Next
66. The Weather Man
67. 211
68. Fire Birds
69. The Croods

Prisoners of the Ghostland (feat. Nicolas Cage)

Set in Samurai Town, this film is a bizarre combination of western drama and kung fu fantasy. The plot is ridiculous by american standards, which makes it somewhat hard to grasp. Hero, our hero, played by Cage, is a prisoner who's sent on a quest to save the warlord's grandaughter who I think is cursed. Hero is sent on the quest in a suit set to explode in three days, and if he succeeds, he wins back his freedom.

But on this quest, Hero has to confront demons other than the demons of his past. Yes, it sounds bizarre, but doesn't it also sound exciting and fantastical? While there isn't much kung-fu fighting in this film, it gives us a visual feast of magical weirdness. From the team that brought us Mandy, Color Out of Space, and Mom and Dad, this movie is definitely one to catch.

1. Raising Arizona
2. Leaving Las Vegas
3. Red Rock West
4. Adaptation
5. Pig
6. Birdy
7. Wild at Heart
8. Joe
9. National Treasure
10. Guarding Tess
11. Snake Eyes
12. Dog Eat Dog
13. Color Out of Space
14. Mom and Dad
15. World Trade Center
16. Peggy Sue Got Married
17. Zandalee

18. Prisoners of the Ghostland

19. City of Angels
20. Bangkok Dangerous
21. Drive Angry
22. Army of One
23. Lord of War
24. Gone in 60 Seconds
25. Matchstick Men
26. Vampire's Kiss
27. Con Air
28. Face/Off
29. The Boy in Blue
30. Honeymoon in Vegas
31. Amos and Andrew
32. Moonstruck
33. The Sorcerer's Apprentice
34. Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans
35. Bringing Out the Dead
36. The Family Man
37. Knowing
38. The Frozen Ground
39. It Could Happen to You
40. 8mm
41. Looking Glass
42. Arsenal
43. Between Worlds
44. Left Behind
45. Ghost Rider
46. The Humanity Bureau
47. Next
48. The Weather Man
49. 211
50. The Croods