Guzzardo's Italian Villa of Lincoln Illinois

By the name, you might have figured that Guzzardo's is more of a full on Italian restaurant than a pizza shop. And you'd be right. Pizzas are picked up at the back door, while diners have the glamorous experience of an italian restaurant with huge portions. Our pizza order was screwed up, somewhat. Instead of a cheese pizza with half pepperoni and sausage, they put toppings on the whole thing. Oh well. It had a ratio of 3cr/1ce/4ch*.

I'll give their crust a 3 out of 5. It was quite crusty, bubbling somewhat at the bottom where the dough soaked up a floury coating. It could have used more of a knead, but I found it enjoyable. And there was an adequate presence of goo where the dough met the sauce and cheese.

It's possible that most of the sauce absorbed itself into the dough, as there didn't seem to be much of it on the pizza. Lucky for me, our side of red sauce was huge. I should have taken a picture of it. The sauce gets a 4 out of 5. It was rich, long-roasted, with an abundance of oregano and marjoram.

For style, I'll give Guzzardo's a 4 out of 5. I do like how they gave us such a huge side of red sauce. Also, I like the idea of getting pizza at an italian restaurant, with a genuine italian feel. The pie hits that sweet spot between rustic and sloppy, wonderfully decadent. I imagine none of their pizzas are exactly the same, whether made for love or made for the cooks to get the ticket out of their faces. Who knows? That being said, I'll give this pie a score of 4 out of 5 for overall quality, with a final score of 75%.

The Drawing of the Three by Stephen King

This is the second in King's Dark Tower series. Even with a gap of five months, I found myself forgetting who a lot of the characters had been. Lucky me, King knew how to throw in recaps when necessary. But for the next in the series, I won't wait nearly as long. I want more. I want a deeper immersion in this already fantastic piece of work.

In this one, Roland picks up the rest of this questing party in an adventure more dangerous and gripping than the last. I found myself unable to slow down, needing to know what happens next, among jaw dropping horrors. Roland plays a risky game indeeded, traveling between the mirage towers of our New York City and his own world, risking it all for his tower. This is my kind of fantasy, for sure.

My Uncle Oswald by Roald Dahl

I'd always been into Roald Dahl, as a kid and even a younger adult with an interest in literature. Dahl just knew what would work to draw us into his stories, always sneaking in some big picture stuff. Continually, I put down his books with a renewed dose of enlightenment and inspiration.

This book isn't like that. It's for adults, with an adult flavor of magic, packed with raunch, rape, and all manner of adult-only stuff as told by Uncle Oswald. The most foul breed of genius that would be admirable if you were less disgusted with him. This look into Dahl's other nature was a pretty big turn-off for me, no big loss for this thirty sex year old.

The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson

I have not read Treasure Island. In fact, this is the only thing I've read by this writer of classics. This story make a huge hit with me, I figure because it's too far before my time. Always, I knew the titular characters were part of some transformation of Jekyll. But I never knew for sure what happened with them. So the whole thing felt like an exposition, especially with the telling of the story from the accounts of different characters. Though I think the non-linear form worked in the favor of the mystery here. It might have worked better if some secrets weren't already in my consciousness.

The Pizza Place of Beaver Dam Kentucky

There may be another place to eat or buy pizza in this tiny Kentucky town, but I don't think any could attain the staple status of this wonderful little shop. While their self-serve soda machine didn't have Diet Pepsi (in favor of Diet Mountain Dew and Diet Doctor Pepper), I was completely charmed by everything else the Place had to offer.

My large cheese pizza had a ratio of 2cr/2ce/2ch*. The worst part of it (by far) was the crust. It did its job, but there was hardly any flavor. And like my last pizza experience, the bottom wasn't properly cooked. It wasn't obviously underdone or extra gooey, just lackluster.

On the other hand, the sauce was perfect. It was that thick, rich kind of stuff I love. I give it a 5 out of 5.

For style, the Pizza Place gets an obvious 5 out of 5. It looks like something I would have put together in Microprose's DOS classic, Pizza Tycoon. Red checkered floors, red checkerd tablecloths, and a community-drawn homage on one wall, to the Pizza Place's legendary Monster Pizza, a 28" feast for the whole team. Every inch of the establishment gave a caressing scream of character.

Finally, for overall quality I'll give the Pizza Place a 4 out of 5. It's no surprise I didn't agree with how the pizza was cooked. The sauce distribution was also off, as some bites had almost none. Which is too bad, considering how important said sauce was to the enjoyment of my pizza. With a final score of 80%, I would love to show this Place of Pizza to some of my friends and loved ones.

* There is a scale for thickness of crust. 1 is paper thin, usually new york style. 5 is a sicilian or thickly crusted deep dish. Papa John's would get a 3. Pizza Hut pan pizza would get a 4.

There is a scale for the volume of sauce. 1 is a very thin spread. Not enough to make a 1 crust become soggy. 1 sauce with any other type of crust will make the pizza seem like cheesy bread. A 5 for sauce would be a lake between a curved bowl of crust and cheese. Papa John's would get a 3. Pizza Hut would typically get a 2.

There is a scale for the volume of cheese. 1 is a dusting of a finely shredded cheese. The sauce will be visible and there may be holes in the coverage. 5 is a piling that spills across your pan (or box) when a slice is pulled away. Papa John's would get a 3. Pizza Hut would get a 4.

To make it simple, I write these ratios for mass and volume in code. CR means crust. CE means sauce. CH means cheese. And the final reading will look like 2cr/2ce/2ch. Got it?

Neuromancer by William Gibson

I can't say enough good things about Gibson's writing. While it forces you to play close attention in an environment ever both familiar and outlandish, we get a nearly unmatched level of immersion. While eventually explaining to us what the Nueromancer is, the book follows the stories of Case and Molly on a dangerous hacking mission.

How did they get mixed up into all of it? In Gibson's cyberpunk future, it could happen to anyone. Nobody is safe from this ever shifting, augmented reality we inhabit.

Room by Emma Donoghue

Apparently this book was very hype at one point. I didn't know, but I saw it on a list of scary books for the scary season, and I very much enjoyed it. Another juicy one, our narrator is a little boy who spends the first five years of his life in a cork-lined shed with his mom. They're held prisoner by a rapist.

Eventually our hero has to learn the difference between TV and a real world he's never before encountered. Even if you've seen the movie and thought it was cheesey, I wouldn't shy away from Room. It's a fun trip.

We Have Alaways Lived in the Castle by Shirley Jackson

This is a pretty fun, creepy read. There's a mystery for sure, but you're also not sure what it is, aside from wondering what happened to the now deceased members of the Blackwood family. Everything about it's good and entertaining. If you need a short one for the spooky season to get your yearly book count up to 50, this is one for you.