Renfield (feat. Nicolas Cage)

First off, wow. You're in for a ride. I guess you'd call this film a meta horror comedy. With more comedy than horror, Renfield ties itself immediately to the classic universal Dracula films, starring Nicolas Cage as (Lugosi's) Dracula. Of course this story is mostly about the eponymous Renfield and how he keeps his Dracula up and running to do his thing, while struggling to find his own bit of happiness in this monstrous modern world.

The screwball comedy is strong with this one, which is a plus for me. Nothing compliments violent action better than a punch line, am I right? Even in the romcom-leaning segments the cheap gags don't stop.

While Cage isn't the Star of this film, I don't believe anyone could have played his part better. This time Dracula has a better plan, a bigger plan. World domination. It's a terrifying time indeed to be the servant of such an evil god. Good thing for Renfield, he's got a support group for codependents. It's not like anything else could go wrong to fill this wildly entertaining hour and a half.

1. Raising Arizona
2. The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent
3. Leaving Las Vegas
4. Red Rock West
5. Adaptation
6. Pig
7. Birdy
8. Wild at Heart

9. Renfield

10. Joe
11. National Treasure
12. Guarding Tess
13. Snake Eyes
14. Mandy
15. Dog Eat Dog
16. Color Out of Space
17. Mom and Dad
18. World Trade Center
19. Peggy Sue Got Married
20. The Rock
21. Zandalee
22. Prisoners of the Ghostland
23. City of Angels
24. Willy's Wonderland
25. Jiu Jitsu
26. Captain Corelli's Mandolin
27. Bangkok Dangerous
28. Drive Angry
29. Army of One
30. Lord of War
31. Gone in 60 Seconds
32. Matchstick Men
33. Vampire's Kiss
34. Con Air
35. Face/Off
36. Trapped in Paradise
37. The Boy in Blue
38. Honeymoon in Vegas
39. Deadfall
40. Amos and Andrew
41. Moonstruck
42. Tokarev
43. The Sorcerer's Apprentice
44. Knowing
45. Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans
46. Bringing Out the Dead
47. The Family Man
48. Stolen
49. Season of the Witch
50. It Could Happen to You
51. The Wicker Man
52. 8mm
53. The Frozen Ground
54. Left Behind
55. A Score to Settle
56. Pay the Ghost
57. Primal
58. Dying of the Light
59. Grand Isle
60. Looking Glass
61. Arsenal
62. Between Worlds
63. Ghost Rider
64. Trespass
65. The Humanity Bureau
66. Next
67. The Weather Man
68. 211
69. Fire Birds
70. The Croods

The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent (feat. Nicolas Cage)

You've probably heard of this movie, the one in which Nicolas Cage plays himself. What a gimmick! But the meta quality of this film provides a depth of context that wouldn't otherwise be possible. Cage could play a great and famous actor, but there's only one Nicolas Cage, and the fact that characters in the film an reference his work tells much about who they are.

So in the film, Cage is having trouble maintaining his self image, relations with his family, and his finances. In fact, he's so into acting it's hard for him to keep in touch with everything else. When he doesn't get a role he was going for, he decides to perhaps retire, and to settle his debts, takes a gig for a million dollars just to attend a wealthy fan's birthday party.

But he doesn't expect this wealthy fan to become his new best friend, or for the FBI to rangle into a dangerous task of finding a woman this new friend (Javi) is said to have kidnapped in order to ransom favor for his criminal enterprise. Furthermore, I won't spoil the rest.

In this gripping film, you never entierely know what's going on, but the relationships are touching and the action sequences are hilarious. Javi can't help himself but pretend he's in a movie with Nick at every chance he gets, and the directing follows every cue without flaw. This film ranks up there with The In Laws as a perfect buddy action comedy, and it is all the hype. Don't snooze on it.

1. Raising Arizona

2. The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent

3. Leaving Las Vegas
4. Red Rock West
5. Adaptation
6. Pig
7. Birdy
8. Wild at Heart
9. Joe
10. National Treasure
11. Guarding Tess
12. Snake Eyes
13. Mandy
14. Dog Eat Dog
15. Color Out of Space
16. Mom and Dad
17. World Trade Center
18. Peggy Sue Got Married
19. Zandalee
20. Prisoners of the Ghostland
21. City of Angels
22. Willy's Wonderland
23. Captain Corelli's Mandolin
24. Bangkok Dangerous
25. Drive Angry
26. Army of One
27. Lord of War
28. Gone in 60 Seconds
29. Matchstick Men
30. Vampire's Kiss
31. Con Air
32. Face/Off
33. Trapped in Paradise
34. The Boy in Blue
35. Honeymoon in Vegas
36. Deadfall
37. Amos and Andrew
38. Moonstruck
39. Tokarev
40. The Sorcerer's Apprentice
41. Knowing
42. Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans
43. Bringing Out the Dead
44. The Family Man
45. Stolen
46. It Could Happen to You
47. The Wicker Man
48. 8mm
49. The Frozen Ground
50. Left Behind
51. A Score to Settle
52. Pay the Ghost
53. Primal
54. Dying of the Light
55. Grand Isle
56. Looking Glass
57. Arsenal
58. Between Worlds
59. Ghost Rider
60. Trespass
61. The Humanity Bureau
62. Next
63. The Weather Man
64. 211
65. Fire Birds
66. The Croods

Trapped in Paradise (feat. Nicolas Cage)

I find it hard to judge a 90s comedy, without comparing it only to the other 90s comedies on my list. With Trapped in Paradise, there were a lot of good ideas, but none of them really succeeded. It's a crime, family, christmas comedy with a love story.

Cage played Bill Firpo, a miserable, but good guy who's a waits tables at a fancy joint in New York. His brothers are not such good guys. Dave, played by Jon Lovitz, is the schemer. Dana Carvey plays Alvin, the cleptomaniac. I'd consider these two guys more of comedians than actors. Dana Carvey does a good Garth, but paired with Cage's habitually over-the-top schtick, there's no hope for immersion in this charming little movie.

I'll try not to spoil too much here. Dave tricks Bill into assisting the two criminal brothers on a bank robbery in a little town called Paradise Pennsylvania. All their prison buds were saving this job for one of the big guys back in the clink, but Dave and Alvin planned on pinning it on their brother. But the kindness of the residence of Paradise makes a big difference to these bad apples. And as it turns out, even the good brother had room for improvement.

Trapped in Paradise is okay for a 90s comedy. For a Christmas movie, it's good. I'll be watching it every year, for sure. That being the case, I probably won't be putting it on except to honor the holiday season.

1. Raising Arizona
2. Leaving Las Vegas
3. Red Rock West
4. Adaptation
5. Pig
6. Birdy
7. Wild at Heart
8. Joe
9. National Treasure
10. Guarding Tess
11. Snake Eyes
12. Dog Eat Dog
13. Color Out of Space
14. Mom and Dad
15. World Trade Center
16. Peggy Sue Got Married
17. Zandalee
18. Prisoners of the Ghostland
19. City of Angels
20. Willy's Wonderland
21. Captain Corelli's Mandolin
22. Bangkok Dangerous
23. Drive Angry
24. Army of One
25. Lord of War
26. Gone in 60 Seconds
27. Matchstick Men
28. Vampire's Kiss
29. Con Air
30. Face/Off

31. Trapped in Paradise

32. The Boy in Blue
33. Honeymoon in Vegas
34. Amos and Andrew
35. Moonstruck
36. The Sorcerer's Apprentice
37. Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans
38. Bringing Out the Dead
39. The Family Man
40. Knowing
41. The Frozen Ground
42. It Could Happen to You
43. 8mm
44. Grand Isle
45. Looking Glass
46. Arsenal
47. Between Worlds
48. Left Behind
49. Ghost Rider
50. Trespass
51. The Humanity Bureau
52. Next
53. The Weather Man
54. 211
55. The Croods

Army of One (feat. Nicolas Cage)

For a good while, I was looking forward to this movie. It's the story of a legendary nut who hallucinates a calling from God, to go to Pakistan and take-out Osama Bin Laden. Based on real events, I thought this was a really great story. And Cage's performance is just awesome, reminding me how charming and convincing the truly crazy can be, because they believe so strongly in the crap they feed you.

The story is funny and the acting is funny, but I think it was presented in a way that's not only unfair to the audience, but exploitive to Gary Faulkner, the man who sold the movie rights to his story so he could afford a new kidney for himself. And it was his kidney failure that caused his hallucinations. With astounding courage, he was a hero. But this movie made every point of mocking him. And I feel like if Cage had known what the movie would look and sound like, he wouldn't have given his character so much charisma. It was like the narrator was added after the movie was finished, just to to make sure we knew what parts were meant to be funny, just blowing it with me.

1. Raising Arizona
2. Leaving Las Vegas
3. Red Rock West
4. Adaptation
5. Pig
6. Birdy
7. Wild at Heart
8. Joe
9. Guarding Tess
10. Dog Eat Dog
11. Color Out of Space
12. Mom and Dad
13. Peggy Sue Got Married
14. Zandalee
15. City of Angels
16. Bangkok Dangerous
17. Drive Angry
18. Army of One
19. Lord of War
20. Gone in 60 Seconds
21. Matchstick Men
22. Vampire's Kiss
23. Con Air
24. Face/Off
25. The Boy in Blue
26. Honeymoon in Vegas
27. Amos and Andrew
28. Moonstruck
29. The Sorcerer's Apprentice
30. Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans
31. Bringing Out the Dead
32. The Family Man
33. Knowing
34. It Could Happen to You
35. 8mm
36. Looking Glass
37. Between Worlds
38. Left Behind
39. Ghost Rider
40. The Humanity Bureau
41. Next
42. The Weather Man
43. 211
44. The Croods

Guarding Tess (feat. Nicolas Cage)

Guarding Tess is my kind of movie, a heartwarming 90s comedy. In this one Cage plays Special Secret Agent in Charge, Doug Chesnic, whose assignment is to guard the widowed ex-first lady Tess Carlisle, played by the infinitely charming Shirley MacLaine.

The trouble is, Doug wants to do something more exciting, and to him, more important than taking care of an old lady. He doesn't see the honor of it, and he doesn't understand how important he really is.

But Tess really likes Doug, despite the ants in his pants, and the two share some of the high and low points of their lives. Guarding Tess is neither a tear jerk or a gag fest. It's in that perfect medium and definitely one to watch with your loved ones, and I do intend to watch it again.

1. Raising Arizona
2. Leaving Las Vegas
3. Red Rock West
4. Adaptation
5. Birdy
6. Wild at Heart
7. Joe
8. Guarding Tess
9. Dog Eat Dog
10. Color Out of Space
11. Mom and Dad
12. Peggy Sue Got Married
13. Zandalee
14. City of Angels
15. Bangkok Dangerous
16. Drive Angry
17. Lord of War
18. Gone in 60 Seconds
19. Matchstick Men
20. Vampire's Kiss
21. Con Air
22. Face/Off
23. The Boy in Blue
24. Honeymoon in Vegas
25. Amos and Andrew
26. Moonstruck
27. The Sorcerer's Apprentice
28. Bringing Out the Dead
29. The Family Man
30. Knowing
31. It Could Happen to You
32. 8mm
33. Looking Glass
34. Between Worlds
35. Left Behind
36. Ghost Rider
37. The Humanity Bureau
38. Next
39. The Weather Man
40. 211
41. The Croods

Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris

In 2001, this was likely the hippest read for americans over 26. Have you heard the story of Amy Sedaris wearing a fat suit to visit the overbearing, fat-shaming dad? It's in this book, which was a fun read. David knew he was gay as far back as elementary school, where he underwent speech therapy to work on his lisp. Later in life, he got into crystal meth and performance art. After he got his act together, he lived in chicago, nyc, and then france. He smokes cigarettes, and hates when people eat and talk during movies, and has a good sense of humor. His stories aren't especially gripping, but they are more entertaining than most things you would otherwise read. I you find yourself wanting to read books, but failing, I highly recommend this one.

Moonstruck (feat. Nicolas Cage)

Cher is pretty all right. It's hard not to like her. Though I think there must have been some favoritism going on, like the Academy thought they owed Cher a favor, because I don't know how this film won three Oscars. I don't think cheesey romance films are bad, but none of the characters in this film behave like real people tend to sometimes do. Characters in Moonstruck get engaged, fall in love at first sight, and change the trajectory of their lives based on momentary passions. Is that how all Italian Americans are? Are they all insane?

On insanity, Cage's character Ronny is an actual psycho, smashing things with his "fake-wooden hand", threatening to kill himself, and perpetually blaming his brother for an accident that was his own fault. Maybe that's just how all Italian-American bakers are, only wearing tank tops, never full shirts unless they're going to the Opera. They call this film a romantic comedy, but the comedy aspect is playing on a wheelchair of Italian stereotypes. Maybe if I considered myself more cultured, I'd feel obligated to think it's funny. Like, maybe the Academy thought it was funny because they are laughing at themselves, and they are in the know. Maybe it is considered a comedy in the traditional sense, leaving you wondering what the plot is before revealing it in the end.

What about the romance? Maybe it is the absence of rational motivation that makes this film romantic, because love is not rational. Love can make you deny the factual "bad luck" that might lead you to get engaged to a guy you have no reason to like, the way Cher's character (Loretta) did. Perhaps love is just it's own force, at odds with the world, yet moving the world at its own whim. So maybe my unwillingness to accept this principle is the reason why I didn't think this movie was amazing.

1. Raising Arizona
2. Leaving Las Vegas
3. Red Rock West
4. Adaptation
5. Birdy
6. Wild at Heart
7. Dog Eat Dog
8. Color Out of Space
9. Mom and Dad
10. Peggy Sue Got Married
11. City of Angels
12. Bangkok Dangerous
13. Drive Angry
14. Lord of War
15. Gone in 60 Seconds
16. Matchstick Men
17. Vampire's Kiss
18. Con Air
19. Face/Off
20. Honeymoon in Vegas
21. Amos and Andrew
22. Moonstruck
23. The Sorcerer's Apprentice
24. Bringing Out the Dead
25. The Family Man
26. It Could Happen to You
27. 8mm
28. Ghost Rider
29. The Humanity Bureau
30. Next
31. The Weather Man
32. 211
33. The Croods

Mom and Dad (feat. Nicolas Cage)

I never knew Selma Blair was such a great actress since I've probably never seen anything with her, but she was great, starring alongside Cage in this fun, family violent horror movie. Cage plays the dad who always thought he was cool. Blair is the mom who needs her coffee, and plays on a very believable nurturing side in order to get her kids close enough for her to violently murder them.

You read that right. This film is about a day when all the human parents try to kill their brood. There's not much more to it, and that's okay. Reasonably unambitious, this film succeeds on about every front. Cage's violent freak-outs are a lot more effective when he's in dad mode.

1. Raising Arizona
2. Leaving Las Vegas
3. Red Rock West
4. Adaptation
5. Birdy
6. Wild at Heart
7. Dog Eat Dog
8. Color Out of Space
9. Mom and Dad
10. Peggy Sue Got Married
11. City of Angels
12. Bangkok Dangerous
13. Drive Angry
14. Lord of War
15. Gone in 60 Seconds
16. Matchstick Men
17. Vampire's Kiss
18. Con Air
19. Face/Off
20. Honeymoon in Vegas
21. Amos and Andrew
22. The Sorcerer's Apprentice
23. Bringing Out the Dead
24. The Family Man
25. It Could Happen to You
26. 8mm
27. Ghost Rider
28. The Humanity Bureau
29. Next
30. The Weather Man
31. 211
32. The Croods

Amos and Andrew (feat. Nicolas Cage)

Amos and Andrew is a funny hostage movie about a dumb white guy and a smart black guy. Made by white people, this film covers all kinds of racist taboos in a way that is somewhat depressing. But Samuel L. Jackson agreed to be in it, so it must not be so bad. But I still get a weird, unsettled feeling, like Amos and Andrew are missing their mark.

So what does this film have going for it? Well, it's funny... but not especially funny; not as funny as Airheads, the other 90s funny hostage film which makes all of its jokes at the expense of heavy metal dudes. If I'd seen this film as a kid, I'd have really liked it, and would still like it today. It would have affirmed my distaste for the system. But I probably would have still felt less than gratified when Andrew (Jackson) calls Amos (Cage) "Brother".

1. Raising Arizona
2. Leaving Las Vegas
3. Adaptation
4. Birdy
5. Wild at Heart
6. Color Out of Space
7. Peggy Sue Got Married
8. City of Angels
9. Drive Angry
10. Lord of War
11. Gone in 60 Seconds
12. Matchstick Men
13. Vampire's Kiss
14. Con Air
15. Face/Off
16. Honeymoon in Vegas
17. Amos and Andrew
18. The Sorcerer's Apprentice
19. Bringing Out the Dead
20. The Family Man
21. It Could Happen to You
22. 8mm
23. Ghost Rider
24. Next
25. The Weather Man
26. 211
27. The Croods

I Could Happen to You (feat. Nicolas Cage)

Picture it, Queens New York 1994, there's a good cop named Charlie; a self-sacrificing hero, married to a greedy woman named Muriel. Charlie befriends a waitress who can't afford a divorce and has filed for bankruptcy, thanks to her sleezy husband. Every day Charlie buys a lottery ticket for his wife. I bet you can guess the rest. No stress.

I could have seen myself renting this movie at the Family Video by my grandparents' house, and proceeding to watch it a few times every summer. It wasn't that good, but it was not-bad enough, and easy enough to understand that I and my grandparents would have liked it.

In fact, the premise and the delivery were so basic for this film, I wonder if it was meant to be made in the 60s, but got caught up for thirty years in the red tape of some giant film factory. The story of Charlie and Waitress is all over the papers. New York is actually a really friendly town. Diners and coffee shops are the same thing, which I think is still a New York thing. Right?

1. Raising Arizona
2. Leaving Las Vegas
3. Adaptation
4. Birdy
5. Wild at Heart
6. Color Out of Space
7. City of Angels
8. Gone in 60 Seconds
9. Matchstick Men
10. Vampire's Kiss
11. Face/Off
12. Honeymoon in Vegas
13. The Family Man
14. It Could Happen to You
15. 8mm
16. The Weather Man
17. The Croods

Wild at Heart (feat. Nicolas Cage)

Films. They dramatize the human experience in an entertaining fashion, usually. Wild at Heart takes this to the extreme in an array of wildly amusing methods. My favorite part is when they're in the car and Powermad comes on the radio. Let's face it, you're not wild if you're not smoking cigarettes and driving a convertible. I did think this film was awesome.

However there's a certain amount of trust that I think should exist between a story teller and their audience. Halfway through the film, I gave up on my hopes and expectations because literally anything could have happened at any moment. While there were some amazing scenes, a lot of them served no purpose. At times I felt like I was being trolled in the David Lynch Cinematic Variety Show.

Aside from that, I think Wild at Heart was a great film. I don't like to argue about the rules of what is good, but here I am... torn apart. With no authority, I think my qualms are valid about this otherwise incredible film.

1. Raising Arizona
2. Leaving Las Vegas
3. Adaptation
4. Birdy
5. Wild at Heart
6. Color Out of Space
7. City of Angels
8. Gone in 60 Seconds
9. Matchstick Men
10. Vampire's Kiss
11. Face/Off
12. Honeymoon in Vegas
13. The Family Man
14. 8mm
15. The Weather Man
16. The Croods

Vampire's Kiss (feat. Nicolas Cage)

Do you love the 80s and comedy horror films? If the answer's yes, then you will love this film. Awesome in some ways and pretty bad in others, I enjoyed it. Nick Cage was was great. In Vampire's Kiss, he plays an office ass hole with a boujie accent, named Peter; the type of guy who deserves to be a vampire. As legend has it, turning into a vampire can be pretty rough. In this instance, it's okay, because we don't like Peter and we don't mind seeing him suffer. And, of course, what happens to him is scary. It's a fun watch but altogether pretty meh.

1. Raising Arizona
2. Leaving Las Vegas
3. Adaptation
4. City of Angels
5. Gone in 60 Seconds
6. Matchstick Men
7. Vampire's Kiss
8. Honeymoon in Vegas
9. The Family Man
10. The Weather Man
11. The Croods

Honeymoon in Vegas (feat. Nicolas Cage)

In this 1992 film, Nicolas Cage starts to get really Cagey. He plays a private detective named Jack Singer who, on his mother's death bed, swears never to get married or to love anyone as much as he loves her. Eventually he does agree to get married in Vegas, to his girlfriend Betsy (played by Sarah Jessica Parker). All sorts of strange things can go wrong in Vegas, especially with Jack, who has a personal interest in poker.

I think gambling makes a great story device. It keeps us on the edge and gives us a clear view of stakes and odds. It's cool that this film gives us a view of Las Vegas during the daytime, outside of the packed strip. Sarah Jessica Park made a very loveable girl-next-door. In fact, I wish she'd had more roles like this. James Caan (the dad character in Elf with Will Farrell) plays a great antagonist, one you can sympathize with. Honeymoon in Vegas had all of the makings of a truly great film.

However... it failed me in a lot of ways. Jack does go on a crazy adventure with its pitfalls and glimmers of hope. There are a lot of Elvis Presley impersonators, which is fine. I guess they are a very important part of Las Vegas culture? I don't know. While it's cool to see children and black men impersonating The King. IMH, if you don't think Elvis impersonators are the funniest thing in the world, then you will not think this movie is funny.

James Caan's character is a professional gambler, but I don't think his negative traits stick well. He may be a little scummy, but why? What caused it? He's a family man and his family loves him. What is it that causes him to be so severely scummy for no reason aside from greed and lust? Is that just the Vegas Effect? Cage's character is a private eye but his investigative skills have no impact on the adventure. Shouldn't they?

While Honeymoon in Vegas had all the makings of a truly great film, I think it really failed to deliver. For huge fans, there's a Broadway musical based on the film, also called Honeymoon in Vegas. Tony Danza plays the bad guy. With great luck, I'll see it someday and write a comparison.

1. Raising Arizona
2. City of Angels
3. Gone in Sixty Seconds
4. Matchstick Men
5. Honeymoon in Vegas
6. The Family Man
7. The Weather Man
8. The Croods

The Weather Man (feat. Nicolas Cage)

The Weather Man is like a memoir of a fictional meteoroligist named David Spritzel (Spritz for tv). It’s rated R because there’s a lot of edgy cussing and a scene where David (he’s the narrator) explains to us what a Camel Toe is. I hate it when a movie grossly underestimates my intelligence by taking great lengths to explain, in gory detail, something I’ve known since long before I was old enough to advisably watch R rated films. David lives in the Chicago suburbs and people throw fast food items at him, just because he’s a celebrity. People in Chicago are apparently mean like that. There are a lot of other cool Chicago things going on, like Gold Coast Hot Dogs at the mall. They also say ‘pop’ instead of ‘soda’.

David takes up archery and practices on the (windy) beach to impress his daughter who doesn’t care. Pretty much everything he does is stupid and pointless like that. In fact, David sucks. But he’s the protagonist of our film and we have to care about him, right? Not.

Sometimes I like to have a movie on the background, though. Especially when it’s something that won’t draw me in and stress me out. This is that kind of film and it might be the worst thing Michael Cain’s ever been in. I forgive him, though, he probably thinks he needs the work to pay for his grandchildren to go to university.
Let’s rank these Nicolas Cage Films.

1. Raising Arizona
2. City of Angels
3. Gone in Sixty Seconds
4. Matchstick Men
5. The Family Man
6. The Weather Man
7. The Croods

Raising Arizona (feat. Nicolas Cage)

There is a certain brand of humor, most prominent in 80s adventure games, which parodies the human condition, highlighting the absurd within the mundane. It is with this sense of humor and a stark infatuation with Americana, that the Coen brothers bring us Raising Arizona (featuring Nicolas Cage).

Cage plays a recidivist named H.I. (Hi for short, Herbet for long), who falls in love with his booking officer Edwina (Ed for short), played by Holly Hunter. While Cage’s acting is a somewhat flat departure from his usual mind-bending performances, Hunter really shines in this film. She even has a musical number, beautifully performed like the mom you wish you had.

Let’s face it. The Coen brothers are just great at making movies. They pay attention to the details we don’t immediately come to care about, like the couch in H.I. and Edwina’s apartment. And haven’t you always wanted to hear a story about guys who actually did manage to tunnel themselves out of jail? The violent parts of the film are both bad ass and funny. Aside from the goofy nature of the film, I felt moments of severe tension and tender warmth. It really makes you miss the salad days.

Dude.Cool.25 told me I would be hard pressed to find a Cage film better than City of Angels and worse than The Croods. So I suggest we watch Raising Arizona, which turned out to be very much my thing.

Let’s see those numbers:
1. Raising Arizona
2. City of Angels
3. Matchstick Men
4. The Family Man
5. The Croods

The Family Man (feat. Nicolas Cage)

As a young man, Jack Campbell parts ways with the love of his life to pursue an internship. Later on, Jack is a rich executive at a big holding company on wall street. He makes everyone work on Christmas, but that’s okay. Work is important and at least he gets to have eggnog. So he goes to a jiffy store to buy said eggnog and prevents a robbery. The robber gives Jack a glimpse at the life he never had.

Jack wakes up in New Jersey with the love of his life, and two kids. He’s freaked out because he has to get to work and he’s mad that his Ferrari isn’t out front. Instead, he owns a fairly new Dodge Caravan. Not so bad, but I get it. It’s about the money. Living the life he never wanted, Jack Campbell proves himself to be more of a Jack Ass. Somehow, Jack comes around and learns to prefer the more meaningful life of a family man.

The Family Man is a mind bender and a heart warmer, exactly what you want in a Nicolas Cage film. Cage also has a musical number, which is reason alone to tune in. Aside from the greatness of Cage, I think The Family Man is a bit of a turd. Jack’s never-existent daughter believes him to be an alien impostor. To me, Jack’s life-that-never-was is formed by a Jack that still never would have been.

Let's rank some Nick Cage films:
1. City of Angels
2. Matchstick men
3. The Family Man
4. The Croods

Worth the Wait. Again

For weeks I had a hankering to see this film. Was it on Soulseek? No. The Pirate Bay? Still No. Demonoid? Probably too sketchy for my Windows 10 desktop.  I found it on Google Play. $4 just for a viewing? Surely a disc of it is sitting in some thrift store for 50 cents. I went with the next best thing.  $1 + $3.50 shipping from ebay. For what seemed like a month, I replayed every (remembered) scene in my head. After several tries I got the dvd ripped and streaming from Emby to my Chromecast to my tv. I pretty much killed my popcorn trying to get it all together.  After all strife, Leave it to Beaver did not disappoint. All the jokes hit home. All the characters were played hilariously without being total parodies. The score? To die for. You also get to see the world's smallest football player kick some serious butt. That's all for spoilers. It was like an extra long episode of a wholesome family sitcom. The best type of film. Better than D3? Maybe. It's not as emotional.  Better than Quiet Place part II? We'll see.