the abomination that is the Chizza

I understand the desire for KFC to get into the type of gimmicks that have always worked so well for Taco Bell, but KFC has to be the least loved of the Yum Foods chains. Their chicken isn't better than what you can get at pizza hut, but of course, their original recipe is its own thing that you can't get anywhere else. Sometimes it's the only thing that will do. Plus, they have decent biscuits and mashed potatoes.

Back to the Chizza. It is a chicken patty (or collection of flat chicken chunks) topped with a zesty marinara, cheese, and pepperoni. It will entice pizza lovers to try once, maybe just to get people in the door only to remind them of how sad KFC is. Their dining room Might get cleaned once a day. None of their employees seem like they've been there longer than a week, and how can they afford to stay there? Want to work for Yum Foods? Expect to be homeless, in a state where it's practically illegal to be.

So maybe the Chizza will get people in the door, but it won't get people coming back, no way. Is it cheaper than Pizza? No. Is it better than pizza? No. Does it simulate the experience of pizza for those on a low carb diet? No. Is it faster than pizza? No. If you must try the Chizza, I'd recommend hitting the drivethru as I intended, but there was no sound coming from the box when I rolled up to it. Will I go back to KFC? Yes, but only ten minutes before close when they're selling ten pieces for ten bucks. They'll need to bring back the buffet before I willingly step inside again.

Fried Chicken on a Stick

Meanwhile in Arkansas, time is running ten years behind. Self-checkouts haven't taken off yet, which makes it an inticing place to move to. But what can you do? Grow middle-aged chasing the past? I'll try not to.

The sign at the gas station advertised Pizza Inn Express, in addition to Homestyle Fried Chicken. The pizzas were all out for the evening, for some reason. But instead of pizza, my eyes beheld the most excessive spread of deep-fried, hot-boxed glory. This gas station had (all deep fried) egg rolls, chimichangas, burritos, crispitos, biscuits, chicken fries, white meat, dark meat, chicken tenders, bosco sticks, joe joe potatoes, cat fish, taquitos, hush puppies, okra, onion rings, corn dogs, foot long corn dogs, gizzards, pizza puffs, and... fried chicken on a stick. It was so big, I thought it was an entire chicken's worth of meat. I was wrong. There were also fried onions, pickles, and potatoes.

There's a difference between french fry batter and chicken batter. If you know the difference, then you know chicken batter isn't that great with potatoes, which always turn out too soft and too tough at the same time, instead of gloriously cripsy on the outside and fluffy on the inside, like a fry should be. The chicken part of the fried chick on a stick was aweseome. However, next time I'll try the tenders.