Satan Burger by Carlton Mellick III

With this, I was hoping for more horror than the bizarro thing I got. But it was fun. Carl Mellick III is, I guess famous for pushing forth this type of storytelling where our world and characters are too messed up and wrong(?) to make us fear for them. It's all pretty fun and clever, showing no lack of Culture in our writer. The details are fuzzy to me now, but I know Satan opens a burger shop where food is paid for with the consumer's soul. There are debaucherous noise/punk performances, terrible driving scenes, and appearances from both God and Jesus. It's worth checking out if you are a person of culture as well. 

American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis

 As soon as I discovered the iconic film American Psycho was based on a book, I immediately added it to my reading list. I loved the long essays with fumbled facts about Genesis, Huey Louis, and Whitney Houston. Such deep feelings really might endear you to the twisted Patrick Batemen. But the book is so graphic. So much more graphic than the movie. So much more graphic than it needed to be. But hey. If you liked the movie and you like books, you should read it. And buy me a tie from Hugo Boss. 

Severance by Ling Ma

For those who've seen the tv show Severance, this book is unrelated. It's an apocalyptic zombie type of story taking place in modern times with a narrating protagonist who doesn't like air conditioning. I think she's Korean, and lives in New York City. So maybe she's justified in that opinion. 

Similar to the pandemic we've experienced, our heroine isolates herself properly and holds out at her job until everyone else is gone. Then she embarks on a journey to explore what's left while seeking a safer place, and joins a collective group. But what happens to them? There are some definite scary parts in this book. You'll like it if you like horror or zombies. 

Flowers in the Attic by V.C. Andrews

If you are literate and goth, you'd probably read this one. I didn't know at the time of reading that there was a movie based on this, or that there was a prequel tv series. Now I know and I've seen all of the first and part of the latter. 

All of the gothic tropes are here. A spooky mansion, kids with a chilly aesthetic, an unloving mother, possible incest, attics, and horrific punishment on our poor, innocent Dollenganger children. They really go through it, and you get to be a fly on the wall for the whole show. Read it if you want some goth cred, or just like this kind of thing. 

Rouge by Mona Awad

This is a pretty fun, gripping thing. Rouge is about a woman whose beautiful, glamorous mother dies in an accident. While settling the accounts of the passing, our hero discovers a skin care cult to answer the mysteries of our dearly departed and give our protagonist the skin she's always wanted. But at what price? I'm not sure you want to know. It's pretty scary. 

Doctor Sleep by Stephen King

Taking place a good twenty or thirty years after the events of The Shining, I bet Stephen King knew this sequel was going to made into a movie. It stars Danny, the kid with the Shine, and has guest appearances from Wendy, Dick Halloran, and Tony (who may still live in Danny's mouth). 

This story focuses less on the horror aspect of things and more on the supernatural, with Shining villains and good kids to save. While a different kind of experience, I'd still suggest this to anyone who's a King fan. 

The Shining by Stephen King

I have a strong feeling you've seen the film, The Shining. You probably even know it's based off a book. You might even be like me and find yourself watching the Kubrick masterpiece every single halloween season. Let me tell you something. There's more to the story than is in the movie. You might be a fan, but you probably feel like a poseur in the face of one who has Read the Book. And it's a good one, a very early work by Stephen King but exhibits his style perfectly. Sometimes it's more fun and more scary to get into the heads of our demons. 

Renfield (feat. Nicolas Cage)

First off, wow. You're in for a ride. I guess you'd call this film a meta horror comedy. With more comedy than horror, Renfield ties itself immediately to the classic universal Dracula films, starring Nicolas Cage as (Lugosi's) Dracula. Of course this story is mostly about the eponymous Renfield and how he keeps his Dracula up and running to do his thing, while struggling to find his own bit of happiness in this monstrous modern world.

The screwball comedy is strong with this one, which is a plus for me. Nothing compliments violent action better than a punch line, am I right? Even in the romcom-leaning segments the cheap gags don't stop.

While Cage isn't the Star of this film, I don't believe anyone could have played his part better. This time Dracula has a better plan, a bigger plan. World domination. It's a terrifying time indeed to be the servant of such an evil god. Good thing for Renfield, he's got a support group for codependents. It's not like anything else could go wrong to fill this wildly entertaining hour and a half.

1. Raising Arizona
2. The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent
3. Leaving Las Vegas
4. Red Rock West
5. Adaptation
6. Pig
7. Birdy
8. Wild at Heart

9. Renfield

10. Joe
11. National Treasure
12. Guarding Tess
13. Snake Eyes
14. Mandy
15. Dog Eat Dog
16. Color Out of Space
17. Mom and Dad
18. World Trade Center
19. Peggy Sue Got Married
20. The Rock
21. Zandalee
22. Prisoners of the Ghostland
23. City of Angels
24. Willy's Wonderland
25. Jiu Jitsu
26. Captain Corelli's Mandolin
27. Bangkok Dangerous
28. Drive Angry
29. Army of One
30. Lord of War
31. Gone in 60 Seconds
32. Matchstick Men
33. Vampire's Kiss
34. Con Air
35. Face/Off
36. Trapped in Paradise
37. The Boy in Blue
38. Honeymoon in Vegas
39. Deadfall
40. Amos and Andrew
41. Moonstruck
42. Tokarev
43. The Sorcerer's Apprentice
44. Knowing
45. Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans
46. Bringing Out the Dead
47. The Family Man
48. Stolen
49. Season of the Witch
50. It Could Happen to You
51. The Wicker Man
52. 8mm
53. The Frozen Ground
54. Left Behind
55. A Score to Settle
56. Pay the Ghost
57. Primal
58. Dying of the Light
59. Grand Isle
60. Looking Glass
61. Arsenal
62. Between Worlds
63. Ghost Rider
64. Trespass
65. The Humanity Bureau
66. Next
67. The Weather Man
68. 211
69. Fire Birds
70. The Croods

The Drawing of the Three by Stephen King

This is the second in King's Dark Tower series. Even with a gap of five months, I found myself forgetting who a lot of the characters had been. Lucky me, King knew how to throw in recaps when necessary. But for the next in the series, I won't wait nearly as long. I want more. I want a deeper immersion in this already fantastic piece of work.

In this one, Roland picks up the rest of this questing party in an adventure more dangerous and gripping than the last. I found myself unable to slow down, needing to know what happens next, among jaw dropping horrors. Roland plays a risky game indeeded, traveling between the mirage towers of our New York City and his own world, risking it all for his tower. This is my kind of fantasy, for sure.

The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson

I have not read Treasure Island. In fact, this is the only thing I've read by this writer of classics. This story make a huge hit with me, I figure because it's too far before my time. Always, I knew the titular characters were part of some transformation of Jekyll. But I never knew for sure what happened with them. So the whole thing felt like an exposition, especially with the telling of the story from the accounts of different characters. Though I think the non-linear form worked in the favor of the mystery here. It might have worked better if some secrets weren't already in my consciousness.

We Have Alaways Lived in the Castle by Shirley Jackson

This is a pretty fun, creepy read. There's a mystery for sure, but you're also not sure what it is, aside from wondering what happened to the now deceased members of the Blackwood family. Everything about it's good and entertaining. If you need a short one for the spooky season to get your yearly book count up to 50, this is one for you.

The Hour of the Oxrun Dread by Charles L. Grant

In the town of Oxrun, there's a myster and a thrill for a brave, widowed librarian. It's exactly the kind of story you'd expect to see in a low-budget 80s tv thriller. It works without gore and special effects. But since there are no budgets for scenes in lirature, why not throw in something specatular? Realism. Perhaps I'm burnt out on it.

The Wicker Man (feat. Nicolas Cage)

In the early years of Saturn Films, it must have made a lot of sense to remake this 70s cult classic. The Wicker Man was ahead of its time and didn't make much money. But a remake could make a lot of money, especially if the film's most expensive asset (Nicolas Cage) was working for free.

Cage plays police officer Edward Malus who goes on a mission to find a missing child, the daughter of his ex-fiance. She lives on an island with a neo-pagan cult who make honey. Interesting twist, he's severely allergic to bees. Everything's weird and creepy on this island, and it only gets worse as he uncovers the mystery of the missing child.

I can't give much more away without spoiling the film. The mystery element lends a fine excuse for a few of the meaningless plot points. It keeps you wondering. At times it felt like I was watching a high school production of grease instead of the real thing. I get that the movie is meant to be weird, trying to be weird. I found the result boring and contrived.

You may have seen the bad reviews, or the meme of Cage freaking out over the bees. And despite its occasional failures to immerse, I don't think 2006's The Wicker Man was so awful. It wasn't so good either.

1. Raising Arizona
2. Leaving Las Vegas
3. Red Rock West
4. Adaptation
5. Pig
6. Birdy
7. Wild at Heart
8. Joe
9. National Treasure
10. Guarding Tess
11. Snake Eyes
12. Mandy
13. Dog Eat Dog
14. Color Out of Space
15. Mom and Dad
16. World Trade Center
17. Peggy Sue Got Married
18. Zandalee
19. Prisoners of the Ghostland
20. City of Angels
21. Willy's Wonderland
22. Captain Corelli's Mandolin
23. Bangkok Dangerous
24. Drive Angry
25. Army of One
26. Lord of War
27. Gone in 60 Seconds
28. Matchstick Men
29. Vampire's Kiss
30. Con Air
31. Face/Off
32. Trapped in Paradise
33. The Boy in Blue
34. Honeymoon in Vegas
35. Deadfall
36. Amos and Andrew
37. Moonstruck
38. Tokarev
39. The Sorcerer's Apprentice
40. Knowing
41. Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans
42. Bringing Out the Dead
43. The Family Man
44. Stolen
45. It Could Happen to You

46. The Wicker Man

47. 8mm
48. The Frozen Ground
49. Left Behind
50. A Score to Settle
51. Pay the Ghost
52. Primal
53. Dying of the Light
54. Grand Isle
55. Looking Glass
56. Arsenal
57. Between Worlds
58. Ghost Rider
59. Trespass
60. The Humanity Bureau
61. Next
62. The Weather Man
63. 211
64. Fire Birds
65. The Croods

Mandy (feat. Nicolas Cage)

Do you like heavy metal, sci-fi, and 80s horror? If so, this is the film for you. And it feels more genuine than pandering to its demographic. It feels good. Almost every shot fades to black, and fades in from black. The psychedelic touches don't go too far, turning the film into an incomprehensible mess. Mysteries built in the first half of the movie are resolved in the second half, but getting there is dreadfully slow with an emphasis on Dread.

And then you figure out Mandy is yet another Cage revenge/Cage saves girl movie. Despite Cage's wonderful performance within the powerful flex of director Panos Cosmatos, this is just a fancied-up version of every other Cage film of the era. I really thought there was going to be a stronger sci-fi element, but there wasn't. Despite a wonderfully immersive presentation, Mandy hardly qualifies as a horror film. So with its merits, I will rank it higher than the other Cage's other revenge films. But gosh, I was really hoping for something more original.

1. Raising Arizona
2. Leaving Las Vegas
3. Red Rock West
4. Adaptation
5. Pig
6. Birdy
7. Wild at Heart
8. Joe
9. National Treasure
10. Guarding Tess
11. Snake Eyes

12. Mandy

13. Dog Eat Dog
14. Color Out of Space
15. Mom and Dad
16. World Trade Center
17. Peggy Sue Got Married
18. Zandalee
19. Prisoners of the Ghostland
20. City of Angels
21. Willy's Wonderland
22. Captain Corelli's Mandolin
23. Bangkok Dangerous
24. Drive Angry
25. Army of One
26. Lord of War
27. Gone in 60 Seconds
28. Matchstick Men
29. Vampire's Kiss
30. Con Air
31. Face/Off
32. Trapped in Paradise
33. The Boy in Blue
34. Honeymoon in Vegas
35. Kill Chain
36. Deadfall
37. Amos and Andrew
38. Moonstruck
39. Tokarev
40. The Sorcerer's Apprentice
41. Knowing
42. Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans
43. Bringing Out the Dead
44. The Family Man
45. Stolen
46. It Could Happen to You
47. 8mm
48. The Frozen Ground
49. Left Behind
50. A Score to Settle
51. Pay the Ghost
52. Primal
53. Dying of the Light
54. Grand Isle
55. Looking Glass
56. Arsenal
57. Between Worlds
58. Ghost Rider
59. Trespass
60. The Humanity Bureau
61. Next
62. The Weather Man
63. 211
64. Fire Birds
65. The Croods

Pay the Ghost (feat. Nicolas Cage)

Honestly I expected more from the promise of this supernatural horror with Sarah Wayne from the Walking Dead. I don't think it's a bad movie. It was made well, and the aim was right. It's just, for a scary movie, not scary at all. Super boring.

Pay the Ghost tells the story of Mike Lawford, a college professor who's busy trying to get his tenure. His wife and son don't like this about him, and he misses Halloween. But there's a carnival, which Mike takes little Charlie to. So it's not so bad. But Charlie disappears. And every Halloween extra kids disappear, and it's cause of a ghost.

Time jumps ahead a full year, where most of the film is spent watching Mike and (wife) Kristen deal with the loss of their son, trying to figure out what happened to him. But there's no new element of danger. They're just trying to find their kid. Worst case scenario, after a whole year, Charlie remains missing. The worst is over before we get to the bulk of the film.

They really blew it with this one.

1. Raising Arizona
2. Leaving Las Vegas
3. Red Rock West
4. Adaptation
5. Pig
6. Birdy
7. Wild at Heart
8. Joe
9. National Treasure
10. Guarding Tess
11. Snake Eyes
12. Dog Eat Dog
13. Color Out of Space
14. Mom and Dad
15. World Trade Center
16. Peggy Sue Got Married
17. Zandalee
18. Prisoners of the Ghostland
19. City of Angels
20. Willy's Wonderland
21. Captain Corelli's Mandolin
22. Bangkok Dangerous
23. Drive Angry
24. Army of One
25. Lord of War
26. Gone in 60 Seconds
27. Matchstick Men
28. Vampire's Kiss
29. Con Air
30. Face/Off
31. Trapped in Paradise
32. The Boy in Blue
33. Honeymoon in Vegas
34. Deadfall
35. Amos and Andrew
36. Moonstruck
37. The Sorcerer's Apprentice
38. Knowing
39. Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans
40. Bringing Out the Dead
41. The Family Man
42. Stolen
43. It Could Happen to You
44. 8mm
45. The Frozen Ground
46. Left Behind

47. Pay the Ghost

48. Primal
49. Grand Isle
50. Looking Glass
51. Arsenal
52. Between Worlds
53. Ghost Rider
54. Trespass
55. The Humanity Bureau
56. Next
57. The Weather Man
58. 211
59. Fire Birds
60. The Croods

Cujo by Stephen King

I can see why a lot of people have read tons of Stephen King, and not much of anything else. With Cujo, I knew what to expect, and was left satisfied on every point. It's a terrifying story of a rabid Saint Bernard in the Maine countryside.

King is a master when it comes to using verbs to give character to every scene, using the perfect amount of detail to make it all seem real. And in this case, the realness makes it more scary.

Our heroes, a mom and her four year old boy, are in trouble, and with every scene change, I felt myself begging anybody from the supporting cast to get the idea, and go to the rescue. And this is what you come to expect from Stephen King. Cujo was a great time, worth doing again.

Interview with the Vampire by Anne Rice

I don't know if it might have been better to see the movie before reading the book, since I automatically assigned the images of Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise, and Kirsten Dunst to their respective vampires. If you've never read this book before, its story is told almost entirely in quotation marks, told by Louis (Brad Pitt).

While Louis tells the story of his own vampirage with its phases, I felt like the dangers and dramas of Louis's unlife was used as more of a setting to the story of all vampires. And I did think it was a good read, a must read for anyone with a special affinity for vampires. In case you were wondering, reader, I don't have a hard on for vampires. They just happen to be a big topic in scary stories. I happen to be of the belief that robots have much more potential for scariness and sexiness. For one, they're warm and don't need to sleep in coffins.

So if any of you know any stories about evil sexy robots, please send them my way.

Night of the Living Dummy 2 by R.L. Stine

I might say the first Night of the Living Dummy was more memorable, but there were definitely some scares in the 2nd one. It's about Amy, a young girl who does ventriloquism for her family talent night, while her older sister got all of the artistic talent of the crew. But Amy is passionate and determined, and her father eventually buys her a new (used) dummy named Slappy. And Slappy the dummy causes all kinds of scary trouble for our little hero!

The Shadow over Innsmouth by H.P. Lovecraft

This is a scary book about a guy who visits an ill-reputed town of fish people who live forever. If you like well-described monsters coming to get a well non-described narrator (you?), then this is probably going to be your thing. And I say go for it. Lovecraft stories never disappoint.

Night of the Living Dummy by R.L. Stine

This is my third Goosebumps book, and I have to say I am a fan of the series, enjoying this one those most so far. Did you ever have nightmares as a kid? Sure, maybe we all did. R.L. Stine knew, and he made those nightmares come true with Night of the Living Dummy. It kind of makes me want to name my next (fictional) son Mr. Wood.

Of the twin sisters, one is a great ventriloquist, and the other sister wants a dummy of her own. They are the type of twins who compete over everything, opening the way for their dummies to cause all kinds of dangerous trouble.