The Pizza Place of Beaver Dam Kentucky

There may be another place to eat or buy pizza in this tiny Kentucky town, but I don't think any could attain the staple status of this wonderful little shop. While their self-serve soda machine didn't have Diet Pepsi (in favor of Diet Mountain Dew and Diet Doctor Pepper), I was completely charmed by everything else the Place had to offer.

My large cheese pizza had a RATIO of 2cr/2ce/2ch. The worst part of it (by far) was the crust. It did its job, but there was hardly any flavor. And like my last pizza experience, the bottom wasn't properly cooked. It wasn't obviously underdone or extra gooey, just lackluster.

On the other hand, the sauce was perfect. It was that thick, rich kind of stuff I love. I give it a 5 out of 5.

For style, the Pizza Place gets an obvious 5 out of 5. It looks like something I would have put together in Microprose's DOS classic, Pizza Tycoon. Red checkered floors, red checkerd tablecloths, and a community-drawn homage on one wall, to the Pizza Place's legendary Monster Pizza, a 28" feast for the whole team. Every inch of the establishment gave a caressing scream of character.

Finally, for overall quality I'll give the Pizza Place a 4 out of 5. It's no surprise I didn't agree with how the pizza was cooked. The sauce distribution was also off, as some bites had almost none. Which is too bad, considering how important said sauce was to the enjoyment of my pizza. With a final score of 80%, I would love to show this Place of Pizza to some of my friends and loved ones.

* There is a scale for thickness of crust. 1 is paper thin, usually new york style. 5 is a sicilian or thickly crusted deep dish. Papa John's would get a 3. Pizza Hut pan pizza would get a 4.

There is a scale for the volume of sauce. 1 is a very thin spread. Not enough to make a 1 crust become soggy. 1 sauce with any other type of crust will make the pizza seem like cheesy bread. A 5 for sauce would be a lake between a curved bowl of crust and cheese. Papa John's would get a 3. Pizza Hut would typically get a 2.

There is a scale for the volume of cheese. 1 is a dusting of a finely shredded cheese. The sauce will be visible and there may be holes in the coverage. 5 is a piling that spills across your pan (or box) when a slice is pulled away. Papa John's would get a 3. Pizza Hut would get a 4.

To make it simple, I write these ratios for mass and volume in code. CR means crust. CE means sauce. CH means cheese. And the final reading will look like 2cr/2ce/2ch. Got it?

Pizza Inn of Frankfort Kentucky

Until today I'd never been to a Pizza Inn, and I'd only ever seen them in Kentucky, so I do consider it a regional chain. Though I could be wrong. I ordered for pick-up since Justine and I were traveling with our dog, but the buffet looked really good. The lady on the phone gave me three options for crust: Thin, New York, or Italian. So I chose Italian, whatever that means. The ratio for our large cheese was 2.5cr/2ce/2ch.

Their Italian crust gets a 2 out of 5 for me. With a slight cardboard vibe, the flavor just wasn't there, aside from the garlic butter on the handles. While it all held together, the crust was dry and could've used more chew or more grease, and definitely more yeast.

Their sauce gets a 3 out of 5. While somewhat thin, the tomato base was sweet and the herbs were more savory than floral. For overall quality, Pizza Inn gets a 4. It was very satisfying to devour. =

For style, Pizza Inn also gets a 4. They had a game room, and my pizza plus side of red sauce was only $11. What a deal! All the stuff on their buffet looked really good. I wonder why the lady on the phone didn't mention their pan pizza? I don't know. She made me spell my last name and somehow remembered PJ as JP. What can you do? With a final score of 65%, I'd like to give Pizza Inn another shot, especially with their buffet. I can't believe it took me 35 years to try it.

Giovanni's Pizza of Grayson Kentucky

Sometimes I refer to a pizza as 'midwestern', though the region has coined many styles, unlike the south, appalachia, and the midland. And I like to think, since writing about so much 'za, I've developed a very discerning palate. From a land of small pizza chains, Giovanni's (also a small chain), founded in 1964, has stood the test of time. They make the pizza all other midland chains are striving for. My first time eating Giovanni's pizza was at the 10th birthday party of two guys from my school, Kyle and Kenton Stewart. Each of them invited their entire class, and I was the only kid who showed up. Perhaps the rest of town was privy to some kind of dirt. With three kids and a mom, it was a good party to me. At the time, I thought Giovanni's was all right. It's like Tom's Pizza, which was down the street, but more like a real restaurant. Giovanni's sold Snyder Potato Chips, and Tom's sold Tom's chips. Tom's is no more. The ratio for Giovanni's Pizza is 3cr/2ce/2ch. I'll give their sauce a score of 4 out of 5. It's adequately thick and full of tomato flavor. There were some herbs, more for balance than distinction. Their sauce also has a noticeable shade of pepperocini, which I think realy sets it off. p> Giovanni's crust also gets a 4 out of 5, chewy on a thin bottom layer, and heavenly soft the rest of the way. Without the risk of breaking, slices fold easily. The crust is deliciously sweet, soaked with that perfect combination of zingy sauce and cheesy grease. I would have liked it more festive, with more sauce and even more cheese. It's rare that I consider ordering a pizza with extra cheese, but Giovanni's has the right idea, mixing provolone with their mozzarella. Their style gets a 4 out of 5. They have a buffet and a number of other cool things that can be ordered. Like a good buffet, no matter what you order, you are at liberty to get your own drink refills. I should have gotten more pictures of the interior, but take my word for it. Vibes are pleasant. The color scheme of the menu matches the color scheme of the booths and light fixtures. Your food must be ordered at a counter, but after that, you don't have to worry about anyone trying to smile at you or approach your table.

For overall quality, Giovanni's gets a 5 out of 5. This isn't pizza made by a bunch of college students. The people at Giovanni's have been making Giovanni's pizza for a good while. Their recipe is spot on, and everything gels together so well. To finish, Giovanni's gets an 85% score. They are the archetype.