the abomination that is the Chizza

I understand the desire for KFC to get into the type of gimmicks that have always worked so well for Taco Bell, but KFC has to be the least loved of the Yum Foods chains. Their chicken isn't better than what you can get at pizza hut, but of course, their original recipe is its own thing that you can't get anywhere else. Sometimes it's the only thing that will do. Plus, they have decent biscuits and mashed potatoes.

Back to the Chizza. It is a chicken patty (or collection of flat chicken chunks) topped with a zesty marinara, cheese, and pepperoni. It will entice pizza lovers to try once, maybe just to get people in the door only to remind them of how sad KFC is. Their dining room Might get cleaned once a day. None of their employees seem like they've been there longer than a week, and how can they afford to stay there? Want to work for Yum Foods? Expect to be homeless, in a state where it's practically illegal to be.

So maybe the Chizza will get people in the door, but it won't get people coming back, no way. Is it cheaper than Pizza? No. Is it better than pizza? No. Does it simulate the experience of pizza for those on a low carb diet? No. Is it faster than pizza? No. If you must try the Chizza, I'd recommend hitting the drivethru as I intended, but there was no sound coming from the box when I rolled up to it. Will I go back to KFC? Yes, but only ten minutes before close when they're selling ten pieces for ten bucks. They'll need to bring back the buffet before I willingly step inside again.

Palermo Pizza and Italian Villa of Paisley Florida

Near many sweet camping spots you'll find Palermo Pizza, a shop that fit my exact criteria of 'not tried yet'. Their pizza has a ratio of 1.5cr/1.5ce/1.5ch. You guessed it, despite being in the center of Florida, Palermo aspires to the same thing as every east coast pizza shop.

Their crust gets a 4 out of 5 for me. The flavor's good. Light, sturdy, and chewy. Palermo's sauce gets a 3 out of 5. They use the good canned tomatoes, but the final product was somewhat watery and sweeter than it seemed like it should be.

For style, I'll give Palermo a 4 out of 5. They kept the diet cokes coming and the atmosphere was very cozy. I might be tempted to have a birthday party there, if only they had an arcade game or two. While the pizza itself doesn't stand out at all, I'm using Florida rules. I should probaby add that we got an appetizer of chicken fingers and fries, which consisted of two chicken fingers and some decent crinkle cuts. So it was essentially a kid's meal for $8.

Palermo gets a 4 out of 5 for quality. The pizza was altogether very good, with every element melding together in a way that completely satisfied me. With an overall score of 75%, I'd recommend Palermo Pizza to anyone passing through, but I wouldn't go out of my way to visit again.

Angelina's Pizza of Deland Florida

In word-of-mouth, Angelina's is likely the most beloved Pizza in the Deland area. Naturally, they were busy on a Friday night, but not so busy that we couldn't get a seat within five minutes. It is a wonderfully cozy little hallway of a hole in the wall, mostly decorated with things that can be bought on the spot.

Angelina's Pizza has a ratio of 2cr/1ce/2ch*. Their crust gets a 5 out of 5 from me. It has a thin layer of chewiness, with a soft inside and a flavor that's completely on point. Their sauce gets a 3 out of 5. It's too thin for me and lackluster. However, there's nothing wrong with it. If I ran Angelina's, I don't know if I'd change it. I wouldn't mess with a formula with such a draw.

Since I gave Bloomington somewhat of a buff regarding quality, as most places are employed by university students, I'll be extra generous for the Style factor of pizzas in the Deland area. As expected, 95% of the pizzas within an hour of the east coast are going to approximate the New York style. While Angelina's has a Sicilian Pie on offer, I may review that as I make my rounds again. I like a 'Sicilian' pizza, though I know the dough is typically cooked hours before the pizza itself goes into the oven, and let's face it, the Sicilian pie isn't meant to represent the shop at hand.

Enough blather. Angelina's gets a 4 out of 5 for style. As noted, it's extremely cozy. There was nothing on the menu that didn't appeal to me. Every salad comes with a side of amazing bread, and their Corn Munchers were a special treat. Angelina's has it all: slices on the go, stacks of pizza for takeout, outdoor seating, fair prices, private bathrooms, and great service. If I had friends visit, I don't know if I'd take them here. It's a great spot for a date night, but it's less of an anomaly than Mirino's and DoBro's.

For overall quality, I'll give Angelina's a 5 out of 5. There was nothing to complain about regarding the pizza Or the experience of eating it. With a final score of 85%, I would easily recommend Angelina's to anyone new to the area, as what might be the Actual best pizza on local offer.

* Let me explain my ratio system, regarding mass of standard Pizza Elements. Cr=Crust. Ce=Sauce. Ch=Cheese.

For CR (CRust), 1 is the equivalent of a transparent pizza in the New York style, or the rolled-out, crackery Saint Louis style. 3 would be a regular Domino's hand-tossed Pizza. 4 would be like a Pizza Hut Pan Pizza, and 5 would be like a Sicilian Pizza or some varieties of Deep Dish.

For Ce (sauCE), 1 would be a watery sauce with a thin spreading, no clumping and no oozing. In this cause, the sauce is an afterthought, more like oregano than a key ingredient. 3 would be what you'd expect from a Pizza Hut Pan Pizza. 5 would require a fork to eat.

For CH (CHeese), 1 would be a transparent layer, mostly existing to assure you that your pizza indeed Does have cheese on it. 3 would be a regular Domino's hand-tossed pizza. 4 would be what you get on a Pizza Hut Pan Pizza. And 5 would be what you get in a pizza that requires a fork to eat, like a respectable Deep Dish Pie.

Blue Springs Pizza of Orange City Florida

Blue Springs Pizza. If you live in the area, it's likely you've Always wanted to go there. And it's a nice, somewhat homely spot. I very much appreciated the presence of plastic grapes in the drink station. However, the restaurant was just as warm as the outside (eighty degrees in november), and the dining room smelled more like a public restroom than a restaurant.

We'll expand on that later. The pizza had a Ratio of 1.5cr/1.5ce/1.5ch*, with individual slices for sale Just Like almost every pizza joint east of Atlanta. The dough gets a 3 out of 5. It was acceptable, but somewhat dry and bready. And much of the flour coating failed to burn off. I'd say it was under-kneaded, under-proofed, and cooked at too low of a temperature. Blue Springs Pizza's sauce also gets a 3 out of 5. No complaints, but nothing special.

For style, I give Blue Springs Pizza a 4 out of 5. It's my kind of joint for sure, with great service. However, the pizza doesn't stand out much. Despite my taste in dough, I do give Blue Springs Pizza a 4 out of 5 for quality. The pizza was well put together, and overall very satisfying. With an overall score of 70%, I wouldn't bring my visiting friends to Blue Springs Pizza, but I'd visit again after I've made my rounds.

* Let me explain my ratio system, regarding mass of standard Pizza Elements. Cr=Crust. Ce=Sauce. Ch=Cheese.

For CR (CRust), 1 is the equivalent of a transparent pizza in the New York style, or the rolled-out, crackery Saint Louis style. 3 would be a regular Domino's hand-tossed Pizza. 4 would be like a Pizza Hut Pan Pizza, and 5 would be like a Sicilian Pizza or some varieties of Deep Dish.

For Ce (sauCE), 1 would be a watery sauce with a thin spreading, no clumping and no oozing. In this cause, the sauce is an afterthought, more like oregano than a key ingredient. 3 would be what you'd expect from a Pizza Hut Pan Pizza. 5 would require a fork to eat.

For CH (CHeese), 1 would be a transparent layer, mostly existing to assure you that your pizza indeed Does have cheese on it. 3 would be a regular Domino's hand-tossed pizza. 4 would be what you get on a Pizza Hut Pan Pizza. And 5 would be what you get in a pizza that requires a fork to eat, like a respectable Deep Dish Pie.

Bronx Pizza of Deland Florida

Typically I don't use delivery to explore new pizzas, but today was a special day for no reason aside from doing this one thing differently. With a ratio of 2cr/1ce/2ch*, Bronx delivers the kind of east coast pie you can expect from any small chain in central Florida. It's not new york, but it's what the people know.

Bronx's dough gets a 3 out of 5 from me. It was crispy on the bottom and somewhat light, though not as airy as what you'd get in the big apple. The flavor was fine. The fact that our pie was delivered made the whole thing more dry than you'd expect from something fresh from the oven, so I did take that into consideration.

For sauce, I'll give Bronx a 4 out of 5. It was rich and full of herbs. While it was closer to spaghetti sauce than I'd prefer, I kept wanting more of it. When it comes to style, I give Bronx a 3 out of 5. Nothing stands out about it at all. And at thirty dollars for a large cheese, delievered, I feel like they don't even want my patronage. But maybe customers are expected to pay for the experience of their glorious restaurant, like at Ruckus. I don't know. I don't feel like I can give a full judgement here because I've never been inside.

For overall quality Bronx gets a 4 out of 5 from me. Mind you, I'm no longer in Bloomington Indiana where I'd give any shop an extra point for employing mostly university kids making their first attempt at holding down some kind of job. I can only assume people who cook professionaly in Deland have almost nothing else going on in their lives because they can't afford to do anything but cook, at their jobs, all the time.

With a final score of 70%, I enjoyed Bronx Pizza enough to give it a follow-up review, with the whole dining experience.

* Let me explain my ratio system, regarding mass of standard Pizza Elements. Cr=Crust. Ce=Sauce. Ch=Cheese.

For CR (CRust), 1 is the equivalent of a transparent pizza in the New York style, or the rolled-out, crackery Saint Louis style. 3 would be a regular Domino's hand-tossed Pizza. 4 would be like a Pizza Hut Pan Pizza, and 5 would be like a Sicilian Pizza or some varieties of Deep Dish.

For Ce (sauCE), 1 would be a watery sauce with a thin spreading, no clumping and no oozing. In this cause, the sauce is an afterthought, more like oregano than a key ingredient. 3 would be what you'd expect from a Pizza Hut Pan Pizza. 5 would require a fork to eat.

For CH (CHeese), 1 would be a transparent layer, mostly existing to assure you that your pizza indeed Does have cheese on it. 3 would be a regular Domino's hand-tossed pizza. 4 would be what you get on a Pizza Hut Pan Pizza. And 5 would be what you get in a pizza that requires a fork to eat, like a respectable Deep Dish Pie.

Ruckus Pizza of Raleigh, North Carolina

Upon meeting pretty much anyone from a new region, it's natural for me to inquire about their favorite regional pizzas, from a regional chain. And my trouble with taking suggestions on pizza is, that I must always write my truth. While I often opt for the large pie, the deal for slices at Ruckus was too good to pass up. It was like $3 for a slice from a thirty inch pie. The ratio for my cheese slices was 2cr/1ce/2ch, typical for a big slice joint.

I'll give their dough a 2 out of 5. It was both burnt and soggy, without much flavor. The outer crust was also pretty dry. So there were a variety of textures, not in really in a good way. Their sauce gets a 4 out of 5. It checked all the boxes for me.

For style, I give Ruckus a 3 out of 5. I like how cheap it was, and I wonder if that has any correlation to the full liquor bar enabling the restaurant to keep the profit margins low on the food. That being said, the place was very loud, with many tvs all showing different things. I got to watch some people hit golf balls while the tv behind me showed recaps of some of the best tik toks of the day. It's the kind of pizza joint that has black urninals, weird sinks, and serves sushi and poke bowls. While I admired Vito's inclusion of 'mexican' food, I don't think sushi is one of those things that should be served from the broiling kitchens of a regional pizza chain. I guess it's fine to give options to people who show up for the atmosphere and really Really don't want pizza. But what kind of pizza joint should put so much work into pleasing people who don't like pizza? I don't know.

For overall quality, Ruckus gets a 3 out of 5. I don't like the contrast of dry and soggy, and there were some bites with no discernable sauce at all. It's a good thing I got a side of it. While I can see why some people might love going to this place, with a score of 60%, I'll be exploring other options next time I'm in the area.

Vito's Pizza of Cumberland Virginia

When it comes to out of the way pizza joints, I usually expect the cooks to have been there at least ten years, knowing their business well. Such might have been the case at Vito's. After entering through a mudroom with community flyers and quarter machines, one selling sticky hands, I noted most of the workers at this place to be family... like a dad and kids. Immediately my expectations rose.

Our pie had a ratio of 2.5cr1.5ce3ch. The dough gets a 4 out of 5 from me. It was soft, sweet, comforting and delicious. If only there'd been more sauce, the goo factor would have brought me to my knees. Vito's sauce gets 3 out of 5. It was a little bland, a little watery, but the present flavor was good.

For style, I give Vito's a 4 out of 5. It really is my kind of place, where you can sit down and order and receive unlimited diet cokes without getting up once. It's not fancy, but done right. Our server was a sassy old lady who stayed remarkably on top of everything.

The menu also had a number of traditional italian and homestyle dishes, making it a local staple for all types of people. But there's more. A cardholder on our table displayed Vito's all new mexican menu. That's right. Vito's now serves mexican food too. I'd love to compare and contrast their marinara and salsa. My only complaint about the pizza was that there wasn't enough sauce. So I'm penalizing the score of style so I can give Vito's a proper 5 out of 5 for overall quality.

I had no complaints about our pizza, nor the dining experience. With an overall score of 80%, I recommend anyone in the beautiful, backwood mountains of Virginia to check this one out.

Stavro's Pizza of Orange City Florida

If you're reading this, you're probably aware of my opions on Florida pizza's complacency with delivering little more than a passable approximation to the New York style. At the least, Stavro's gave us something a little different. Their pie had a ratio of 2cr/2ce/3ch*. The dough gets a 3 out of 5. It held itself together without getting too soggy, but it was somewhat bready and lacking in flavor, likely underproofed and underkneaded.

Their sauce also gets a 3 out of 5. It didn't pop the way I might like it to. In fact, it could have easily have come from a huge can that read "Pizza Sauce." There was no tang.

For style, I guess I'll give Stavros another 3 out of 5. It's not same as everywhere else around, and I dug the establishment's aim for coziness without pretention. There are a number of other italian dishes on the menu, which I'd like to try, but I might expect some form of pasta that's been sitting in the cooler for weeks. But you never know until you try. This is just speculation, as Pizza is often the best deal on the menu. We also got the chicken finger appetizer, which had to have come directly from a box in the freezer.

For overall quality, I'll give Stavro's a 4 out of 5. And mind you, this isn't Bloomington Indiana. This is central Florida, where cooking jobs are reserved for grown-ups who need to work. I found nothing wrong with the construction and presentation of our pie. But will I go out of my way to get it again when there are better joints just around the corner? Probably not. With a final score of 65%, I would recommend Stavro's to anyone very hungry within its two mile radius.