Patti's Pizza of Eerie, PA

You might say I'm hard to please and that I've been eating too much pizza and that I'm ungrateful for all the glory before me. But I can eat more pizza than you. Patti's is a no-frills kind of sandwich joint with tables and a tv that isn't on. Its pizza has a ratio* of 4cr/3ce/3ch. Their dough gets a 2 out of 5. Texturally it's all right. It reminds me of Monical's pan pizza, which will make you wish you'd ordered the classic thin crust. Patti's dough has no flavor. It's more like breat. In fact, the whole thing tasted more like a stoufer's french bread pizza than a real pizza.

That being said, Patti's sauce gets a 3 out of 5. It was good, but could have had some sweetness to it. Maybe it needed less garlic salt or whatever's in it, and more time to simmer. For style, I'll give Patti's a 3 out of 5. The place was very chill and the guys working were super nice without annoying me in the least. The price of my small pizza was also very good. Very stylish price if you ask me. Some arcade games or a functioning tv could have made a difference. I order water with my meals now, so the beverage situation didn't really apply. Though when I ordered a water, I didn't get one. I had my meal with no beverage at all. Though I could have taken more responsibility there.

For overall quality, I'll give Patti's a 4 out of 5. I think it all boils down to the recipe, which wasn't for me.Everything else about the place was fine. With a final score of 60% I won't be coming back to Patti's. If you disagree with me, please punish me however you see fit, dear reader. Thank you.

*Let me explain my ratio system, regarding mass of standard Pizza Elements. Cr=Crust. Ce=Sauce. Ch=Cheese.

For CR (CRust), 1 is the equivalent of a transparent pizza in the New York style, or the rolled-out, crackery Saint Louis style. 3 would be a regular Domino's hand-tossed Pizza. 4 would be like a Pizza Hut Pan Pizza, and 5 would be like a Sicilian Pizza or some varieties of Deep Dish.

For Ce (sauCE), 1 would be a watery sauce with a thin spreading, no clumping and no oozing. In this cause, the sauce is an afterthought, more like oregano than a key ingredient. 3 would be what you'd expect from a Pizza Hut Pan Pizza. 5 would require a fork to eat.

The Runaway Robot by Lester Del Rey

I tell you what. I'm a couple years behind on my book reports, but this one left me with some good feelings. It's about a boy and his robot, and the sort of cycle of their relationship. Yes, a Robot can do what it's told, but sometimes the values it has programmed into it can create conflict and wild space age adventures all in the name of purpose and friendship. Who doesn't love that kind of stuff?

The Old Man and the Sea by Ernest Hemingway

I'd be disappointed if this book was made into a movie. It's honestly perfect the way it is, an epic story of an old man who fights the fight of his life, the fight he'd been waiting for into old age. With his luck of youth long gone, the old man finds that his luck has been growing this entire time. But what for? I'd like to make a computer game based off this story, kind of like The Oregon Trail meets Sid Meier's Pirates! I think true ones will get it.

The Artificial Kid by Bruce Sterling

This cyberpunk story has a lot going for it. Action, crime, bio-hacking, coming-of-age, social media, and kill streaming. It's not kill streaming, but that's kind of what it is. Yeah, The Artificial Kid was very imaginative and forward thinking, keeping your attention as you try not to trip on the unexplained oddities in Sterling's world. If you like sci-fi of any kind, you should give Bruce some time.

Tommy's Pizza of Cranston, RI

You read that correctly, Rhode Island and Connecticut both have their own signature style of pizza. Tommy's gave us a ratio* of 3cr/3ce/2ch, though the standard tomato pie comes with no cheese at all. I got cheese on half to give myself a full assessment, and because cheese is festive and delicious.

Their crust gets a 4 out of 5. Baked on what I assume is a sheet pan, I found it to be texturally perfect. Chewy, gooey, and crispy. However, there wasn't a lot of flavor to it. Maybe it would be better if it rested in the fridge a couple more days. Tommy's sauce gets a 5 out of 5. It's savory without ever being overbearing, with a perfect texture.

For style I'll give Tommy's a 4 out of 5. A normal square pizza with no cheese isn't a very creative or original thing. In my vegan days I had plenty of cheeseless pies, only I added mushrooms to them. Tommy's house is a no-frills kind of joint that would rather sell you some fish and a bottle of wine than an ice cream cone delivered by model train. That's okay. I could eat there all the time if only I lived closer.

Tommy's gets a 5/5 for quality. My pizza was delicious, without a less than awesome bite. With a final score of 90% I'll be for sure telling my grandma about this place.

*Let me explain my ratio system, regarding mass of standard Pizza Elements. Cr=Crust. Ce=Sauce. Ch=Cheese.

For CR (CRust), 1 is the equivalent of a transparent pizza in the New York style, or the rolled-out, crackery Saint Louis style. 3 would be a regular Domino's hand-tossed Pizza. 4 would be like a Pizza Hut Pan Pizza, and 5 would be like a Sicilian Pizza or some varieties of Deep Dish.

For Ce (sauCE), 1 would be a watery sauce with a thin spreading, no clumping and no oozing. In this cause, the sauce is an afterthought, more like oregano than a key ingredient. 3 would be what you'd expect from a Pizza Hut Pan Pizza. 5 would require a fork to eat.

For CH (CHeese), 1 would be a transparent layer, mostly existing to assure you that your pizza indeed Does have cheese on it. 3 would be a regular Domino's hand-tossed pizza. 4 would be what you get on a Pizza Hut Pan Pizza. And 5 would be what you get in a pizza that requires a fork to eat, like a respectable Deep Dish Pie.

We Need to Talk About Kevin by Lionel Shriver

I did not know there was a movie based on this book until after I read it. I started the movie, but didn't finish it. I wonder if you've seen it. Here we have a story about a woman who gave up a lot to please her husband and be there for her evil son. The evil son completely ruins his mom's life, and in the end all they have is each other. That's how family works, for better or worse. Does that count as a spoiler? I read this one pretty quick, as it's quite juicy. It was well done, but definitely not a light, cozy experience.

Sally's Apizza of New Haven, CT

If you have an interest in regional pizza flavors, you've probably heard of the New Haven Tomato Pie, or something similar. So Sally's Tomato Pie with Mozzarella has a ratio* of 1.5cr/2ce/.5ch. That's right, you can't very well see the cheese on this apizza, but it's there with some 'slice pull', adding enough flavor to bring it all home.

Sally's crust gets a 4 out of 5. It's very chewy with lots of char, which isn't everyone's thing. I think the char adds some complexity to the flavor profile, as the sauce can be quite sweet. However, a burnt crust without sauce is pretty unenjoyable and I don't think I can get into heaven unless I eat my crust. You will also get some flour in your mouth, which is normal for neapolitan pizza, but I don't love that feel. However, the goo is there and the goo is if great import.

Sally's sauce gets a 5 out of 5. It's sweet, simple, savory, and perfect. In combination with everything, it's a heavenly bite. For style, I give Sally's a 4 out of 5. It certainly has a style, but $25 is a lot for a 16" pizza with no topppings. But there was a line around the block for it, so I don't blame them for charging so much. I wonder if this exact kind of pizza could succeed so well in other spots. For Quality, I see no reason not to give Sally's a 5 out of 5. They really know what they're doing and they do it right. With a final score of 90%, I'd recommend this spot to anyone who claims to like pizza. My friend John said it was so good, he ate so much it made him sick. I hope that doesn't happen to me.

* Let me explain my ratio system, regarding mass of standard Pizza Elements. Cr=Crust. Ce=Sauce. Ch=Cheese.

For CR (CRust), 1 is the equivalent of a transparent pizza in the New York style, or the rolled-out, crackery Saint Louis style. 3 would be a regular Domino's hand-tossed Pizza. 4 would be like a Pizza Hut Pan Pizza, and 5 would be like a Sicilian Pizza or some varieties of Deep Dish.

For Ce (sauCE), 1 would be a watery sauce with a thin spreading, no clumping and no oozing. In this cause, the sauce is an afterthought, more like oregano than a key ingredient. 3 would be what you'd expect from a Pizza Hut Pan Pizza. 5 would require a fork to eat.

For CH (CHeese), 1 would be a transparent layer, mostly existing to assure you that your pizza indeed Does have cheese on it. 3 would be a regular Domino's hand-tossed pizza. 4 would be what you get on a Pizza Hut Pan Pizza. And 5 would be what you get in a pizza that requires a fork to eat, like a respectable Deep Dish Pie.

Mistborn: The Final Empire by Brandon Sanderson

This book is long, like an epic fantasy. But is it epic? It mostly takes place in one big fantasy city with a gang of variously powered 'allowmancers' working together on a classic Heist. Our main hero is a messiah-type man, and our fledgling hero is a very unfortunate young woman named Vin who gets all the powers and a solid hunk of wish-fulfillment. I think of this book was made into a movie, she'd be played by the next Rachel Leigh Cook or something. For a modern all-ages fantasy, there was a good bit of allegory in this book regarding class divide and problematic power structures. The hard magic of Allowmancy drives the exciting plot twists in a way that is very satisfying. Is Mistborn my thing? Not really. But I will say it's well done and you should read it if this Is your thin.