Lurking Shadows by Carroll John Daly

If you didn't know, Carroll John Daly is famous for writing the first 'hard-boiled' story, followed by a lifetime supply of noir detective fiction. How did I end up with Lurking Shadows? I don't know. It was a pretty cool read, though. I imagined everyone talking like some Brooklyn tough guy in the 1930s. 'Oriental' people are protrayed terribly, running local opium dens.

People in this story are on opium and cocaine. Lots of cocaine. They try to get their rich friends hooked, to make their rich dealer friends more rich. They carry specific guns and the police are corrupt. Fun stuff.

Ghost Rider (feat. Nicolas Cage)

In 2007, Marvel was likely still finding their feet with the whole Cinematic Universe thing. If you don't know, Ghost Rider is about a motorcycle stunt superstar named Johnny Blaze, who sells his soul to Satan, and hunts demons. Sounds cool, right?

The film starts off with Blaze (played by some kid) and his dad, doing motorcycle stunts at the fair. Blaze sells his soul to the devil to cure his dad's cancer, and he's got a crush on a girl. Jump to five or thirty years later, Blaze is played by Nicolas Cage and his old crush has not really aged. That's Hollywood for you. No biggie, we can pretend Cage is much younger. After all, he's got a greased-up six pack like Sylvester Stallone in Rocky III. But this is one of the more forgiveable flaws of the film.

Among the demons and tatted bikers, Ghost Rider is a G-Rated cheese fest. Everytime it starts to get cool, it somehow finds a way to become even more lame. And this movie made hundreds of millions of dollars. Regarding most Marvel things, I feel somewhere between neutral and really good. However, my faith in humanity is damaged by the success of this trolling turd.

1. Raising Arizona
2. Leaving Las Vegas
3. Adaptation
4. Birdy
5. Wild at Heart
6. Color Out of Space
7. City of Angels
8. Gone in 60 Seconds
9. Matchstick Men
10. Vampire's Kiss
11. Face/Off
12. Honeymoon in Vegas
13. The Family Man
14. It Could Happen to You
15. 8mm
16. Ghost Rider
17. The Weather Man
18. The Croods

"Jurassic Park" by Michael Crichton

Is Jurassic Park in your top ten films? It's in mine. The book was extremely satisfying. I didn't want to put it down. What a great time! After all, there's only so much that can be shown in a film. I should have read this years ago, like I always meant to, but somehow other things were more urgent. Did I even enjoy those other things? Probably not as much as I enjoyed reading Jurassic Park.

Thongor and the Wizard of Lemuria by Lin Carter

Lin Carter has written a lot of stories about Conan the Cimmerian, invented by Robert E. Howard.

Thongor is much like Conan, only his world is wildly different from ours. Lemuria has none of our animals, none of our plants, and none of our names for anything. Thongor flies around on a spring-powered boat made of weightless metal. Middle Earth is cool and all, but Lin Carter made sure everything about his world was more badass than anything in anyone else's fantasy world.

Pretty rad. He knew what he wanted to achieve and achieved it. Sometimes 'telling a good story' isn't enough. Not for Lin Carter. Why not just go ahead and look at what you're doing and decidedly make it more epic? Maximum epic.

I Could Happen to You (feat. Nicolas Cage)

Picture it, Queens New York 1994, there's a good cop named Charlie; a self-sacrificing hero, married to a greedy woman named Muriel. Charlie befriends a waitress who can't afford a divorce and has filed for bankruptcy, thanks to her sleezy husband. Every day Charlie buys a lottery ticket for his wife. I bet you can guess the rest. No stress.

I could have seen myself renting this movie at the Family Video by my grandparents' house, and proceeding to watch it a few times every summer. It wasn't that good, but it was not-bad enough, and easy enough to understand that I and my grandparents would have liked it.

In fact, the premise and the delivery were so basic for this film, I wonder if it was meant to be made in the 60s, but got caught up for thirty years in the red tape of some giant film factory. The story of Charlie and Waitress is all over the papers. New York is actually a really friendly town. Diners and coffee shops are the same thing, which I think is still a New York thing. Right?

1. Raising Arizona
2. Leaving Las Vegas
3. Adaptation
4. Birdy
5. Wild at Heart
6. Color Out of Space
7. City of Angels
8. Gone in 60 Seconds
9. Matchstick Men
10. Vampire's Kiss
11. Face/Off
12. Honeymoon in Vegas
13. The Family Man
14. It Could Happen to You
15. 8mm
16. The Weather Man
17. The Croods

Beyond the Black River by Robert E. Howard

I've never been a huge sword and sorcery kind of guy. Violence doesn't excite me, especially when I know the hero is going to survive and, in the end, move onto a new adventure in which they will survive again. However, I'm interested in anything with wizards and demons in strange worlds. Beyond the Black River is one of the first stories of Conan the Cimmerian (Barbarian). It takes place in the mythical Hyborian Age, on our very earth. Beyond the Black River is fantasy before high fantasy became a thing. That is, before Lord of the Rings.

Conan is a human of maximum prowess. He fights a wizard and saves some people. I don't remember a ton of the details because of the long, violent scenes. Also, I don't care about any of those other ass holes. In fact I would like to see how things would turn out if the evil wizard won and took over the land.

Steering the Craft by Ursula Le Guin

I've read Le Guin's Earthsea books and found them to be classic and altogether pretty cool. But also boring for high fantasy adventures. Le Guin is however, a master in her own way, and I'm trying to read as many books as I can about writing and how to write a good novel.

Steering the Craft is just the book I wanted. A how-to on the craft of narrative storytelling. It even contained writing excercises and tips for whenever I find a writing group, which may never happen. Le Guin thinks I need to show more of an interest in the classics. She is also of the opinion that great stories don't need conflict. Okay. I'll think about that later. Thanks for the tips.

Wild at Heart (feat. Nicolas Cage)

Films. They dramatize the human experience in an entertaining fashion, usually. Wild at Heart takes this to the extreme in an array of wildly amusing methods. My favorite part is when they're in the car and Powermad comes on the radio. Let's face it, you're not wild if you're not smoking cigarettes and driving a convertible. I did think this film was awesome.

However there's a certain amount of trust that I think should exist between a story teller and their audience. Halfway through the film, I gave up on my hopes and expectations because literally anything could have happened at any moment. While there were some amazing scenes, a lot of them served no purpose. At times I felt like I was being trolled in the David Lynch Cinematic Variety Show.

Aside from that, I think Wild at Heart was a great film. I don't like to argue about the rules of what is good, but here I am... torn apart. With no authority, I think my qualms are valid about this otherwise incredible film.

1. Raising Arizona
2. Leaving Las Vegas
3. Adaptation
4. Birdy
5. Wild at Heart
6. Color Out of Space
7. City of Angels
8. Gone in 60 Seconds
9. Matchstick Men
10. Vampire's Kiss
11. Face/Off
12. Honeymoon in Vegas
13. The Family Man
14. 8mm
15. The Weather Man
16. The Croods