Fire Birds (feat. Nicolas Cage)

This is a weird movie you've probably never heard of. Released in 1990, under Disney's Touchstone pictures, Fire Birds tells the story of an apache pilot who wants nothing more than to kill foreigners for doing things that are illegal in our great country, all in the interest of President Bush's War on Drugs.

Nicolas Cage plays Pilot Jake Preston, doing everything he can to make it look cool and fun to kill people. The herosim in this interest is repeatedly affirmed by Preston's instructor, played by Tommy Lee Jones. I don't think he's a great actor or anything, but he's the only one in this film who gives more than the worst performance of his career. And I don't blame the actors, really. Most of the dialogue exists to demonstrate the greatness of Cage's character. The helicopter stunt scenes are a rare, fun treat, but the rest of this movie sucks. And it doesn't just suck. It sucks in bad taste.

And I don't even care that Fire Birds repeatedly tries to rip off Top Gun. What bothers me more is this is the only Nick Cage film to prominently feature a song by Phil Collins. How did that happen? Did Phil Collins really endorse the War on Drugs? Unbelievable.

  1. Raising Arizona
  2. Leaving Las Vegas
  3. Red Rock West
  4. Adaptation
  5. Pig
  6. Birdy
  7. Wild at Heart
  8. Joe
  9. National Treasure
  10. Guarding Tess
  11. Snake Eyes
  12. Dog Eat Dog
  13. Color Out of Space
  14. Mom and Dad
  15. World Trade Center
  16. Peggy Sue Got Married
  17. Zandalee
  18. Prisoners of the Ghostland
  19. City of Angels
  20. Willy's Wonderland
  21. Captain Corelli's Mandolin
  22. Bangkok Dangerous
  23. Drive Angry
  24. Army of One
  25. Lord of War
  26. Gone in 60 Seconds
  27. Matchstick Men
  28. Vampire's Kiss
  29. Con Air
  30. Face/Off
  31. Trapped in Paradise
  32. The Boy in Blue
  33. Honeymoon in Vegas
  34. Amos and Andrew
  35. Moonstruck
  36. The Sorcerer's Apprentice
  37. Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans
  38. Bringing Out the Dead
  39. The Family Man
  40. Knowing
  41. The Frozen Ground
  42. It Could Happen to You
  43. 8mm
  44. Grand Isle
  45. Looking Glass
  46. Arsenal
  47. Between Worlds
  48. Left Behind
  49. Ghost Rider
  50. Trespass
  51. The Humanity Bureau
  52. Next
  53. The Weather Man
  54. 211
  55. Fire Birds

  56. The Croods

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