Chuck E. Cheese Cheese Frozen Pizza

I for one, don't like to think of mice in proximity to my food. The current version of Chuck also looks more like a super ugly Koala than a mouse (a normally cute animal). Why? Why didn't they call him Chucky instead of Chuck E.? He's not a very sophisticated guy, after all. The E stands for Entertainment. What a stupid name.

Aside from that, I've always been a fan of Chuck E. Cheese's pizza, got excited upon seeing this new option in the freezer section at Kroger. $6 is pretty steep for a frozen pizza, especially when I could instead get a Home Run Inn. Still, I was curious and felt up the box. The pizza within felt pretty small, so I passed.

But I couldn't get it out of my head. And as you see, the pizza is an adequate size for its box. I didn't take a photo of the bottom because I didn't want to lose any cheese, but the crust itself is partially cooked and lightly coated in cornmeal/cereal. And the final product was really good for a frozen pizza. The crust was chewy and flexible, great stuff. It really made me want to go back to the restaurant and compare.

Pig (feat. Nicolas Cage)

I don't know if it's just me, but there seems to be much buzz about Pig. Lots of people with revered, astute opinions on film are chiming in. And do I feel entitled to join the conversation? No. But I am a real fan of Nicolas Cage, and this movie secures my opinion that he's in more good movies than anyone. One of those good movies is Pig.

It's the story of a famous chef who leaves all the bull shit (as he calls it), to live in the woods with his pig, his cookware, and his cassette tapes. Who hasn't wanted to join the likes of Thoreau and live a life of pure substance? So our hero, Robin Feld is about as cool as you imagine. He doesn't talk much, but everything he says is filled with wistful meaning.

In the event that you haven't read more telling reviews of this film, Robin's pig gets kidnapped in a dramatic scene (I can still hear the screams), forcing our hero's return to the city in search for one of the only things worth caring about. I kept expecting some type of Nick Cage action scene or Nick Cage freak-out, because you don't at first know what kind of guy Robin is. And I feel like this expectation, only aided the immersion of Pig's wonderfully moving scenes. There were some hokey moments, but not enough to pull me from the edge of my seat. Pig is an instant classic, and I highly recommend it to anyone who loves their pet and likes good food.

1. Raising Arizona
2. Leaving Las Vegas
3. Red Rock West
4. Adaptation
5. Pig
6. Birdy
7. Wild at Heart
8. Joe
9. Guarding Tess
10. Dog Eat Dog
11. Color Out of Space
12. Mom and Dad
13. Peggy Sue Got Married
14. Zandalee
15. City of Angels
16. Bangkok Dangerous
17. Drive Angry
18. Lord of War
19. Gone in 60 Seconds
20. Matchstick Men
21. Vampire's Kiss
22. Con Air
23. Face/Off
24. The Boy in Blue
25. Honeymoon in Vegas
26. Amos and Andrew
27. Moonstruck
28. The Sorcerer's Apprentice
29. Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans
30. Bringing Out the Dead
31. The Family Man
32. Knowing
33. It Could Happen to You
34. 8mm
35. Looking Glass
36. Between Worlds
37. Left Behind
38. Ghost Rider
39. The Humanity Bureau
40. Next
41. The Weather Man
42. 211
43. The Croods

The Jungle Book by Rudyard Kipling

For those of you who have only seen the film adaptations of the Jungle Book, you will be surprised to notice this book isn't all about Mowgli trying to escape Shere Khan. In the book, the arrogant man cub makes out really well with his courage and animal wisdom.

And aside from that, Kipling tells the story of other heroic animals like Rikki Tikki the mongoose and Kotick, the white seal. You might have seen a seal at a beach or at the zoo, but have you ever wondered where they can go and what amazing things they can do? Maybe you do now. If so, you should read The Jungle Book.

The Last Unicorn by Peter S. Beagle

I had a really good week, thanks this high fantasy classic. While immersive and perfectly paced, The Last Unicorn satisfied every itch. Every sentence gripped my heart and wrung from it emotions I couldn't will myself to feel. Someplace between tragedy, hilarity, beauty, and wonder lies The Last Unicorn. It doesn't matter what kind of thing you like to read. This book will probably revive your love of the fantastical.

two consecutive Z's

If it's edible and its name contains two consecutive Z's, then you bet I'm going to eat it. I feel like I've seen Gardetto's Pizzeria Naturally Flavored Snack Mix before, but I could be wrong. So how is this snack? It's all right. Maybe not better than regular Gardetto's. While I love the flavors of powdered tomato and powdered romano cheese, the Original Gardetto's dishes up more of that satisfying, garlicky zing. There are also no rye chips in this new blend, and even more pretzels than before. If I wanted a bag of pretzels, wouldn't I just buy a bag of pretzels? Gardetto's got me with the double Z's, but I don't think I'll be purchasing their pizzeria flavor again.

Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans (feat. Nicolas Cage)

Sharing the first part of its name with a 1992 film of the same theme, Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans is its own thing. I guess. I also won't be typing out its mouth-stuffing title again. This film is the story of a cop who's kind of an ass hole, then hurts his back. His prescription to pain medicine leads to all forms of drug addiction, including crack. It's noire all the way.

Being a cop has its perks, which Lieutenant Terence McDonah (played by Cage) takes precarious advantage of, progressively becoming a worse cop. Terence's love interest Frankie is played by Eva Mendes, who was also in Ghost Rider. I figured the two decided to party in New Orleans for a while after Ghost Rider, and with Saturn Pictures, went ahead and made a movie. The thing about playing characters who are on drugs is that it's more believable when the actors themselves are intoxicated.

But I don't know whether or not Cage does drugs. I'm not really interested in his personal life. Either way, this movie has some of his creepiest moments and freakiest freak-outs, as a strung out cop, doing everything he can to get his fix AND convict the criminals.

So, was this a good film? It's pretty over the top in a way that's not really funny. But it has Val Kilmer in it, if that means anything. More imporantly, you get to see Fairuza Balk in her pre-sex gear. On top of that, you get to watch people smoke crack. So the gratuity value of this film is pretty high. In some scenes he sounds like himself, and in others he sounds like a complete noire detective, and in others he seems like he's not even trying.

The pacing and direction is definitely more like an episode of ER than a cinematic feature film. I haven't seen the other works of Werner Herzog, but I can respect that he has his own style. There were also some really weird shots, like Terrance is trying to put the scene together in his drug-addled brain. I guess I don't mind when big time film makers have their artsy moments, treating their movie like some angsty music video.

Still, the story of the anti-hero with no redeemable characteristics is pretty hard to invest in. And it's not like Lord of War, in which it really matters whether or not our protagonist dies or retires. In Bad Lietenant, all the other characters are either cops or criminals. I don't know how, but I did end up feeling stressed and worried for Terrance. Maybe it's just because I like Nicolas Cage. Either way, Bad Lieutant was a pretty dark, unhappy experience.

1. Raising Arizona
2. Leaving Las Vegas
3. Red Rock West
4. Adaptation
5. Birdy
6. Wild at Heart
7. Joe
8. Guarding Tess
9. Dog Eat Dog
10. Color Out of Space
11. Mom and Dad
12. Peggy Sue Got Married
13. Zandalee
14. City of Angels
15. Bangkok Dangerous
16. Drive Angry
17. Lord of War
18. Gone in 60 Seconds
19. Matchstick Men
20. Vampire's Kiss
21. Con Air
22. Face/Off
23. The Boy in Blue
24. Honeymoon in Vegas
25. Amos and Andrew
26. Moonstruck
27. The Sorcerer's Apprentice
28. Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans
29. Bringing Out the Dead
30. The Family Man
31. Knowing
32. It Could Happen to You
33. 8mm
34. Looking Glass
35. Between Worlds
36. Left Behind
37. Ghost Rider
38. The Humanity Bureau
39. Next
40. The Weather Man
41. 211
42. The Croods

Bucceto's Pizza and Pasta of Bloomington, Indiana

Since my first bite, I knew Bucceto's was my favorite pizza in Bloomington. But that was five years ago, in a world that's always changing faster than I am. I was obedient to the 'wait to be seated' sign, even though my order was to go. You might guess my order, a large cheese with a side of red sauce. The red sauce they gave me was spaghetti sauce, within which most of its flavor was suffocated by hamburger grease. Maybe the people at some pizza shops don't know that I mean pizza sauce when I say red sauce. And I say red sauce, because Marinara is not what goes on pizza. Marinara is meant to be chunky and watery, while Pizza sauce is meant to be smooth like Pomodoro sauce.

So anyway, I wouldn't give so much attention to the side sauce, if there was more sauce on their pizza. There was more on it than would usually go on a Domino's pie, but not enough to really taste aside from the clear hints of oregano. Also, their crust was much thicker this time than it has ever been. So as of today, Bucceto's pizza has a ratio of 3cr/1.5ce/3ch.

I'll rate their crust a 4 out of 5. It's sweet, chewy, and easy to eat, almost as good as what they have at Greek's. Their sauce, going on what I've had before, also gets a 4 out of 5. It's not so thin that I could drink it, but I would if I could. It's savory, tangy, sweet, and floral, and when combined with their sweet crust, it makes Bucceto's pizza a real treat.

For overall quality, I'd give Bucceto's a Bloomington 4. It seems like they're having some issues with consistency, as if their Manager lets the cooks make the pizzas exactly how they want, instead of exactly how it's always been done. Still, the 'za was of good, acceptable quality.

But I will delegate the penalty of their inconsistency to Style, which gets a 2 out of 5. There's nothing outstanding about Bucceto's standard, midwestern pizza. Their menu has other things, like pasta, all made with a combination of very few ingredients. I've had one of their salads before, and it was on par with Steak'N'Shake. Aside from the very cool 90s art on their walls, Pizza is the only thing Bucceto's has going for it. And at $14 for a 16" cheese, I don't get it too often, leaving this joint with an overall score of 70%.

Guarding Tess (feat. Nicolas Cage)

Guarding Tess is my kind of movie, a heartwarming 90s comedy. In this one Cage plays Special Secret Agent in Charge, Doug Chesnic, whose assignment is to guard the widowed ex-first lady Tess Carlisle, played by the infinitely charming Shirley MacLaine.

The trouble is, Doug wants to do something more exciting, and to him, more important than taking care of an old lady. He doesn't see the honor of it, and he doesn't understand how important he really is.

But Tess really likes Doug, despite the ants in his pants, and the two share some of the high and low points of their lives. Guarding Tess is neither a tear jerk or a gag fest. It's in that perfect medium and definitely one to watch with your loved ones, and I do intend to watch it again.

1. Raising Arizona
2. Leaving Las Vegas
3. Red Rock West
4. Adaptation
5. Birdy
6. Wild at Heart
7. Joe
8. Guarding Tess
9. Dog Eat Dog
10. Color Out of Space
11. Mom and Dad
12. Peggy Sue Got Married
13. Zandalee
14. City of Angels
15. Bangkok Dangerous
16. Drive Angry
17. Lord of War
18. Gone in 60 Seconds
19. Matchstick Men
20. Vampire's Kiss
21. Con Air
22. Face/Off
23. The Boy in Blue
24. Honeymoon in Vegas
25. Amos and Andrew
26. Moonstruck
27. The Sorcerer's Apprentice
28. Bringing Out the Dead
29. The Family Man
30. Knowing
31. It Could Happen to You
32. 8mm
33. Looking Glass
34. Between Worlds
35. Left Behind
36. Ghost Rider
37. The Humanity Bureau
38. Next
39. The Weather Man
40. 211
41. The Croods