Jiu Jitsu (feat. Nicolas Cage)

First off, it's insane how much parts this movie look and feel like a cut scene from a video game but with real actors instead of cgi super heroes like in Marvel things. Even so, this feels more like something from Uncharted. Each scene is set-up with a flash of comic book panels to let you know where our characters are and what they're up to now. And most of the real scenes are packed with choreographed melee with an insane amount of speed flexing (is that the term?). I wish there were more brawls, but that's okay. We have men, ladies, white, black, and asian kicking butt and having a blast when they're not getting their necks broken. While I mentioned ladies, this film certainly fails the Bechdel test, which is no surprise. Most films featuring Nicolas Cage owe it to the man to focus mainly on Him. (I don't capitalize because I'm talking about the christian God, but because I want to make proper the man that is Nicolas Cage who I am referring to as Him).
Our story involves a Burmese god of death who gave Jiu Jitsu to the people. He cometh forth every six years with the appearance of a magic blue comet. Our hero is Jake (not played by Nicolas Cage). Jake gets an amnesia-inducing head injury in his first encounter with said god of death, which requires all characters to remind him what's going on. He's one of the chosen, given the gift of Jiu Jitsu to fight the god of death and keep said god from killing all humans.

Cage plays the funny old guy in Jake's band of plot exposing chosen ones. He should be in the movie more, but I get it. He's not the most qualified martial artist in this bunch. At least he gets to be a hero, if not The hero. Mostly I'm disappointed that the longest and fastest-paced fights are between our actors and our cgi god of death. I really don't care about watching action scenes of cgi characters. Still, I like this kind of movie. I like kung-fu and pointless cape-wearing. It also reminds me of Mortal Kombat meets Predator, which is a good thing in my book.

  1. Raising Arizona
  2. The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent
  3. Leaving Las Vegas
  4. Red Rock West
  5. Adaptation
  6. Pig
  7. Birdy
  8. Wild at Heart
  9. Joe
  10. National Treasure
  11. Guarding Tess
  12. Snake Eyes
  13. Mandy
  14. Dog Eat Dog
  15. Color Out of Space
  16. Mom and Dad
  17. World Trade Center
  18. Peggy Sue Got Married
  19. The Rock
  20. Zandalee
  21. Prisoners of the Ghostland
  22. City of Angels
  23. Willy's Wonderland

  24. Jiu Jitsu

  25. Captain Corelli's Mandolin
  26. Bangkok Dangerous
  27. Drive Angry
  28. Army of One
  29. Lord of War
  30. Gone in 60 Seconds
  31. Matchstick Men
  32. Vampire's Kiss
  33. Con Air
  34. Face/Off
  35. Trapped in Paradise
  36. The Boy in Blue
  37. Honeymoon in Vegas
  38. Deadfall
  39. Amos and Andrew
  40. Moonstruck
  41. Tokarev
  42. The Sorcerer's Apprentice
  43. Knowing
  44. Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans
  45. Bringing Out the Dead
  46. The Family Man
  47. Stolen
  48. Season of the Witch
  49. It Could Happen to You
  50. The Wicker Man
  51. 8mm
  52. The Frozen Ground
  53. Left Behind
  54. A Score to Settle
  55. Pay the Ghost
  56. Primal
  57. Dying of the Light
  58. Grand Isle
  59. Looking Glass
  60. Arsenal
  61. Between Worlds
  62. Ghost Rider
  63. Trespass
  64. The Humanity Bureau
  65. Next
  66. The Weather Man
  67. 211
  68. Fire Birds
  69. The Croods

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