Outcast (feat. Nicolas Cage)

Outcast is a film about knights who kill women and children. Some do it for Christ. Some only threaten to do it out of pride. I like when movies conjure the spirit of Master Splinter, with a long whiskered man using 'my son' in every sentence. More films should have that for sure. It really makes me want to talk to my dad again, so I can constantly refer to him as 'my father'. My Son assassinates My Father in China, for the throne which is rightfully his, and the weak, peaceful son runs off to avoid execution and become a great warrior.

Meanwhile the action prince (Christenson) and the action King (Cage) get tired of killing women and children. When their great Crusades are over is where we get into the meat of this film. Our heroes had talked about going east, where they might do some use their swords for good. As fate would have it, our crusaders show up at the right place at the right time to restore justice to China and become the heroes they always wanted to be. Or do they? My son, you will have to watch the film to find out.

For some reason, this film got a score of 0 on rotten tomatoes, which I don't entirely understand. These raters obviously haven't seen the Crudes. I very much enjoyed watching beautiful, grown-up Hayden Christenson with a British accent and beautiful princess Lian (played by Liu Yifei). There could have been more Cage, but I know he's a busy man with better movies to focus on. To some extent, he is the true hero of our story. Sure, the Chinese might have saved themselves without Nicolas Cage but that is not the world we live in. If this film were made today, I don't think they'd name his character Gallain. It sounds too much like Ghislaine.

Is this film totally predictable? Yes, but only as whole. There are some fun, grunty action scenes. Does it put a new angle on historical events? No, but it does romanticize a foreign time and place we'd otherwise be left to imagine. Does it say anything new about our current world? He is the lesson of the film: If you neglect your values, you can have a profoundly negative effect on the spirits of your friends. And if you're lucky, you can make things right. Not horrible. Maybe it's just a rehashing of the trauma one experiences from life in battle. Maybe there is only one god, but he/she wears many faces. I could be wrong on all accounts. Maybe Hayden Christenson always had a british accent and I never noticed.

best quote: But the Guards... Cut. Out. Her. Tongue!

1. Raising Arizona
2. The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent
3. Leaving Las Vegas
4. Red Rock West
5. Adaptation
6. Pig
7. Birdy
8. Wild at Heart
9. Renfield
10. Joe
11. National Treasure
12. Guarding Tess
13. Snake Eyes
14. Mandy
15. Dog Eat Dog
16. Color Out of Space
17. Mom and Dad
18. World Trade Center
19. Peggy Sue Got Married
20. The Rock
21. Zandalee
22. Prisoners of the Ghostland
23. City of Angels
24. Willy's Wonderland
25. Jiu Jitsu
26. Captain Corelli's Mandolin
27. Bangkok Dangerous
28. Drive Angry
29. Army of One
30. Lord of War
31. Gone in 60 Seconds
32. Matchstick Men
33. Vampire's Kiss
34. Con Air
35. Face/Off

36. Outcast

37. Trapped in Paradise
38. The Boy in Blue
39. Honeymoon in Vegas
40. Deadfall
41. Amos and Andrew
42. Moonstruck
43. Tokarev
44. The Sorcerer's Apprentice
45. Knowing
46. Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans
47. Bringing Out the Dead
48. The Family Man
49. Stolen
50. Season of the Witch
51. It Could Happen to You
52. The Wicker Man
53. Inconceivable
54. 8mm
55. The Frozen Ground
56. Left Behind
57. A Score to Settle
58. Pay the Ghost
59. Primal
60. Dying of the Light
61. Grand Isle
62. Looking Glass
63. Arsenal
64. Between Worlds
65. Ghost Rider
66. Trespass
67. The Humanity Bureau
68. Next
69. The Weather Man
70. 211
71. Fire Birds
72. The Croods